Article by Christine Webber
A lot of us worry that we will become unhappier with age. So let me give you some good news right away: 65% of us are happier now than when we were young.
How do I know? Because last year I posted a survey for baby boomers on my website – and this was one of the facts that leapt out at me when I collated the results.
I imagine that most of us probably want to live as long as possible, but I guess that we’re not so keen on longevity if we end up old but miserable. So, it’s important to do all we can to maximise our levels of optimism and happiness. But can we do this?
Yes, we can.
The most obvious trait among contented people – compared with miserable ones – is that they notice when they are happy.
We can all focus on the positive aspects of our day
As a therapist, I can tell you that we can all train ourselves to take note of positive aspects of our day rather than dwell on bad ones. It takes effort, but happiness can become a habit.
And nowadays science backs up this theory. You see, we now have advanced scanning techniques, and as a consequence, we know far more about the brain than we ever did.
For example, there have been experiments where people having their brains scanned have been asked to focus on something very pleasurable and happy. And researchers have reported that when this happens, there is an immediate burst of activity in the front left-side of the brain of these individuals, which shows up on the scan.
Now, the front left-side of the brain is the bit that registers happiness and well-being. And what this means in everyday life is that the more you focus on positive things, the more activity you’ll generate in that particular part of the brain, and the more optimistic you’ll become. In other words, you can learn to be happier.
I think this is really exciting.
So why not make sure that you train yourself to notice when you are having a good time, rather than focus on bad things that happen? You could start to do this by noting down five events every single day that make you laugh, or cheer you up. Soon, you’ll realize that you are aware of much more happiness in your life. You’ll probably also find that your life becomes more sociable, because people always gravitate towards happy and optimistic individuals.
This is a good way to make more friends – and having more friends will make you happier. So, it’s a win-win situation.
We female baby boomers have had more chances to make good mates than women of previous generations – who were often restricted to being friends with sisters, cousins, neighbours, and people who went to the same church.
Because most of us have worked throughout much of our lives, we’ve had the opportunity to construct a large social network. And this is lucky for us. Because research shows that being lonely is as bad for our health as smoking!
And various other studies have shown that having plenty of pals makes us happier, and may well also help us live longer, and could even be a factor in preventing dementia.
What else can we do to stay happy?
Do vigorous exercise for 30 minutes at least five times a week.
Exercise not only makes us more physically fit, but increases the level of ‘happy chemicals’, called endorphins, in our blood streams. And recent research shows something even more exciting, which is that physical activity increases levels of a protein, called BDNF, in our brains. This substance acts like a kind of fertilizer, promoting growth in our cells and helping our brains to keep alert and youthful.
• Feed our souls. Of course some folk do this through conventional religion. But if you’re not that way inclined, it’s a good idea to find other ways of transporting you away from the humdrum aspects of life and giving you a sense of greater perspective. You might do it by visiting historical sites, or by walking in the countryside or by the sea. Or you might find this extra dimension through great music or art. Personally I don’t think it matters how you do it, but I am convinced that when you pay attention to this more spiritual side of yourself, you feel more content and complete.
• Look after others. Now, you may think that you’ve spent a lifetime at the beck and call of your family and that you desperately need some ‘me time’. I wouldn’t dispute that. But embarking on some sort of charity or volunteering scheme is a very good way to feel happier. Quite apart from anything else, we like ourselves better when we’re altruistic. Indeed, various research studies have shown that those of us who are engaged in volunteering projects of various kinds enjoy a greater sense of well-being and optimism than those who don’t. In Scandanavia, for example, where there is a great tradition of volunteering – with about 70% of the population involved in charity projects – the populations are the happiest people in Europe. But in the former Soviet bloc – where rates of volunteering are as low as 7% of the population – people are the most miserable of all Europeans. This doesn’t prove beyond doubt that helping other people makes you happy, but I think it’s quite a persuasive argument.
Happiness isn’t something that gets showered on us like gentle rain from heaven. It takes effort. But learning how to be happier is a positive and pro-active thing that we can all do for ourselves in order to enjoy better mental health.
Also, when we are happy, life is so much pleasanter – not just for us, but for everyone around us – that I definitely think it’s worth working at!
Christine Webber is a writer, broadcaster and psychotherapist – and is the author of Too Young to Get Old.
Related posts:
- Does a mayonnaise jar hold the key to happiness?
- Are Older Workers Happier and More Productive?
- Peta Mathias’s Fabulous Thoughts on Being a Woman
- Challenging The Myths of Midlife
- Friendship over 50- Friends for Life?
