Article by Jackie Walker
What does the term middle aged love birds do to you – does it make you cringe? For some reason we have an inbuilt thermometer which denotes that when our kids start finding love/sex/romance then we have to stop it! It’s something for the younger generation.
Just think about it for a second, when you were growing up your Mum and Dad didn’t ‘do it’ did they?! Remember the discussions in the playground?
Well, now you’re one of the middle aged parents – oh shock horror! And worse still you’re single and want to have all those wonderful things in your life.
There’s an added problem – it’s not just the kids who think yuck, it’s your married friends and those less warm spirited singles who haven’t got their own love bug.So what d’you do about it? Well I can’t find any rules about how to conduct yourself in love in middle years and even if I could find one, I’m quite likely to not follow them anyway! What if we just adopt the same rules we had as a teenager – what would that mean to you? What if you just decided to enjoy one another? Let go and be totally, madly and deeply in love – and be respectful to the company you keep.
At times this might mean toning down your physical urgings to one another, after all checking for tonsils isn’t something parents enjoy watching their kids do, so my guess is that it hasn’t changed. Respecting means allowing others to feel comfortable and yet still embrace your good fortune without guilt.
Revel in one another – texts, emails, social media, post, telephone calls, clandestine meetings, dates, dinners – talk about your partner with others, know what it’s like to be joyful and loved. For what reason would you not?
Not too old for romance
Many folk feel they’re ‘too old for that nonsense’ – if you feel like it, do it. Some folk don’t get to being in love and loved until they meet a special person 2nd or 3rd time round – why should they be denied the delicious spontaneity of giving and receiving as if they’re life depended on it .
So often I wonder if couples kept themselves alive and interested in one another would a split have happened? In many cases yes, but equally many would be no.
It’s never too late to be interested and curious in one another and that’s the basis of any love fest. If you haven’t yet separated think about it, what would your partner be most surprised about –
a) You engineering a conversation about things you’ve never thought to ask before
b) You having a conversation that the relationship is not going well
My guess is the latter would be less surprising!
In new relationships we talk, we make each other laugh, to make them feel good and we care. In old relationships there are tendencies to criticise, grump, we may care – but it’s more likely to be about what’s on TV or in the oven than about one another’s feelings, points of view or dreams.
Do yourselves a favour. Love is for all ages and stages – get at it!