Should you Divorce in your 50s or Work on your Relationship?


divorce in your 50s

Article by Jackie Walker
I was having a chat the other day with a lady who has a propensity to buy and store things ‘just in case’ they might be useful.
I thought about how this attitude can often keep people in marriages, and conversely, how it might even fuel a divorce.  Let’s explore how it could play out.

Many women over 50 question their relationships

There are many women over fifty who wonder just what are they doing with their partner – especially if they have gone through the empty nest period and seem to be needed for less.  They hold onto him just in case they wouldn’t find another partner.  Just in case their financial security as they head towards retirement would be at risk.  They feel that it’s better the devil they know than the one they don’t, or might never get to know.

On the other hand, there are those who get to the point that if they want a relationship which gives more than they currently have, they’d better get on with it now, just in case they run out of time.

Just in case is usually a fear driven mentality.  It’s based on the pretext that the unknown is a scary place and not one which should be entered.  It is often about retaining control.  It’s often a belief in lack of opportunities or possibilities – time, money, love, self belief, confidence etc.

What If? – a useful question to ask

Don’t Know Land keeps many people from taking steps.  ‘What If’? is a really useful question to ask yourself – not to stop you, but to make you look a bit deeper.  So if I did this thing …. what might happen, and then what, and then what and then what.  Keep going until you really, really understand what the consequences might be  ….  but in reality very often aren’t!

We can only pretend that we have control over anything but ourselves.  Your behaviour, your emotions and your feelings are – fact – the only things you have control over.   Retaining control over things which aren’t yours, can make your life much more stressful.  Could you let some of it go and find more peace now?

Improve your current relationship or divorce in your fifties?

It might be that your current relationship could be improved with some changes in your routine or attitude.  It might be that deciding upon divorce in your fifties is something which could give you a new lease of life in many other areas.

Just in case you were wondering there is no right or wrong answer, there’s only curiosity and finding out what you are stopping yourself from doing and for what reason!

 

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Jackie Walker

Jackie Walker is committed to assisting you navigate your Relation Ship through the doldrums and stormy waters. You are at the epicentre of all your relationships - with your partner, your family, your work, your world. You also have relationships with money, dreams, fears and things. Jackie's work will allow you to start shining light on the areas which you would like to work better, beginning with the relationship you have with yourself.

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  1. Jo Carroll

    September 17, 2012

    I was widowed in my 40s – and turned my back on the prospect of remarrying.

    Why? Because I have found a way of being contented – a rare state, that few recognise. It lacks the highs and lows of being in a relationship, but there’s a comfortable way of being that works for me. And I’m not lonely – I have wonderful friends and great daughters.

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