Article by Ceri Wheeldon
A new survey* out today suggests that being told we’ve lost weight is top of the list of favourite compliments. In glancing through the list it struck me that nearly all of the compliments making the top 10 list were related to appearance, and none related to personality or achievement. Is this because it’s hard to pay a compliment that isn’t related to appearance, or because other attributes are valued less highly? Any thoughts?
The Top 10 compliments
1. You look like you’ve lost weight
2. You have a nice smile
3. You smell nice
4. Nice hair
5. That dress really suits you
6. That colour really suits you
7. Love what you’re wearing
8. Your eyes are pretty
9. You look slim
10. You look gorgeous
What’s the best compliment anyone could pay you? Any of the above or something entirely different?
*survey conducted on behalf of a dental implant company
Photo credit:healingdream
Ceri Wheeldon
Ceri is Founder and Editor of Fabafterfifty.co.uk She is also a headhunter with 20+ years experience working on international assignments and offers a jobsearch coaching service to jobseekers
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For me it’s when someone says I cannot possible be 51! Love it! My mother is 85 and looks no more than 65
That I am elegantly dressed.
My first impressions were exactly as yours Ceri. I wonder if there’s a difference between knowing someone well and being casual acquaintances/professional colleagues. My favourite compliment from someone I know well is ‘I’ve missed you’
I find the “you’ve lost weight” one infuriating, because my weight hardly changes, and it signals to me someone who is weight-obsessed and doesn’t see beyond that.
This perhaps stems from my ex-husband, who actually told me early on, that if I didn’t lose weight he would stop dating me. I wasn’t overweight! Why did I ever marry the idiot??
He hardly ever sees our 3 daughters, but when he does … guess what his first observation is … YUP – whether they have gained or lost weight!!!
I like being told that I have a lovely smile, or beautiful eyes, but the comments I treasure are those about being a kind, generous, caring person.
Anna, I am with you 100% on this one. I would much rather be complimented for looking happy than the circumference of my waistline. As for your ex husband, if he’s that shallow then you’re all better off without him!
I like being told I am good company!
My favourite compliment is work-related: “I had such a good time with you.” (I’m a photographer) closely followed by: “wow – is that really me?”
Maybe that’s because this new world is all so new to me, but I hope I never get tired of helping other women to feel that way!
On a personal level, my favourite compliment is “I love you Grandma.” No amount of comment about my appearance could touch that!
For me it was being told he loves my intelligence and sense of humour – this from my 41 year old lover. He cares nothing for my age (59) or weight (I have curves). He also admires my independence, and the fact that I take care of myself. I make him laugh and have a confidence not necessarily found in younger women.