Article by Ceri Wheeldon
What terms do you hate the most when women over 50 are referred to?
There seems to be a tendency for the media to have to attribute labels to women over 50. We have already debated the use of ‘olderpreneur’ given to those over 50 setting up businesses, but what other labels annoy you?
One reader wrote in to say that she hates the phrase ‘women of a certain age’. Another hated ‘Swofties’ (single women over 50). And everyone seems to take exception to being referred to as an ‘old biddy’!
What descriptions of women over 50 do you hate most?
What phrases to describe women over 50 do you hate (or like) and do we really need to be labelled at all?
Would love your views on this one!!
Ceri Wheeldon
Ceri is Founder and Editor of Fabafterfifty.co.uk She is also a headhunter with 20+ years experience working on international assignments and offers a jobsearch coaching service to jobseekers
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I loathe being called ‘Dear’ (unless by people lots older than me) I hate being called girl- I’m a woman.
When I was working in NHS we were looking at a policy and it kept referring to adult and old people. In exasperation I said when do adults stop being adults and become old people? Can’t we just talk about adults? Can’t we just talk about women?
Jane
PS I quite like being called gorgeous, and plumptious, and sexy, in appropriate circumstances naturally!
Well,gorgeous one,I believe Ageism is the next battle we have to win. I agree- do we stop being adults just because we age? I particularly hate when people remark on a womans appearance -adding ‘for her age’ when saying a woman looks good! Why add those 3 words!
I don’t like labels full stop!
I’m also wondering, has human-kind always been obsessed with age and appearance, or is it a product of our society? Do most of us need to be validated by labels? (Whether profession, status, age or whatever)
I find I come across quite a lot of older people (usually women!) who do like to tell you: “I’m 87/95/103 you know!!” Perhaps it is just human nature.
I hate being called “young lady” like they are doing me some kind of favour and I should be simperingly grateful/chuffed. AND NO, they don’t think I am young when they say it! It’s the kind of “young lady” I remember my nan and her friends getting. I thought it annoying then too. Grrrrrr!!!!
my daughter in law,26,causes me great greif,she doesent hide her ageism towards anyone over forty,and calls me,an old woman.its funny how i never came across ageism until i reached late forties,and until i met this delightful girl,i feel so old in her company,i find it draining.
Kay, I think the way your daughter in law treats you is rotten. Your piece has been playing on my mind since I read it. I think you have to adopt a zero tolerance approach. Next time she is so rude, pull her to one side and let her know how her words make you feel. If she reacts in a hostile way, maintain your composure and just continue to let her know what effect her words have on you. Hopefully your son will support you without appearing to take sides. Good luck!
yvonne,thankyou for your kind supportive words,the sad thing is,she knows exactly how i feel,my self and my partner have tried to stop her nasty attitude,but my son s answer was,i am old to her,so he sees nothing wrong in her attitude,infact she turned it round and has convinced my son it is me,with a problem with her.i care for her son three days a week to enable her to work and have been nothing but nice to her,im afraid niceness is sometimes wasted on some people,she cant even bring herself to acknpwledge me,or speak to me,even when im looking after her son,i find it so shocking how ageism extends to all levels.
You don’t look old enough to be a grandmother – it’s simply not true. I am and I do. Don’t patronise me by suggesting I want to look younger than I am.
You need to do these things while you still can … why don’t they say that to 20-year olds? Just because I’m over 60 doesn’t mean I’m dribbling into my cocoa …
Which age group are you in … 40-50, 50-60, over 60 … so nothing changes once we’re over 60 …
You’ve got me started now. Grrrrrrr