How to be an ideal mother-in-law
Fabafterfifty: Relationships
Whether we are happily single, married, divorced, widowed or separated, relationships and families are always the most important aspects of our lives.
How do we assess our own relationships once the children have left home? Back in the dating game? – how do we go about meeting a new partner? How do we react to the changing needs of family members.
Help is at hand..
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Article by Cat Williams An ‘interfering mother-in-law’ is one of society’s favourite stereotypes. The term ‘mother-in-law’ sounds negative and criticising even before anything is known about the individual themselves. Mothers and daughters-in-law often find it particularly difficult to get along. What is the secret of those who can overcome the stereotype, and build a friendship with their ‘DIL’? “fear makes strangers of people who should be friends.” —Shirley MacLaine The first thing we need to recognise is that we pose a uniquely powerful threat to the self-esteem of our daughter-in-law. As an older woman we could potentially pass judgement on her as a woman, a wife, and a mother, because we might feel that we have ‘been there, done that’, and feel that we either ‘got it right’ or can advise her how to. Our daughter-in-law will be acutely aware of this. Even if we don’t actually say anything judgemental,...
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Flexible working – understanding your rights
Information from ACAS Flexible working requests are likely to increase next year when Government legislation will extend the right to request flexible working. Find out how current flexible working legislation applies to you and how things will change next year. What is flexible working? It isn’t too long since flexible working was a rare exception to the 9-5, five day working week. But many British businesses have now realised that far from being just another “perk”, offering a flexible approach to work can help them to keep talented staff who, like many of us, have other commitments outside of the workplace. Flexible working arrangements vary from working compressed or reduced hours, flexi time and working part time to job sharing or home working. TUC research published last year shows that around 1 in 5 workers aged over 55 already works regularly from home, making this the most likely age group...
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How to Get Over the Death of a Loved one
Article by Fabaferfifty Death is, unfortunately, an inevitable part of life. The death of a loved one can be utterly devastating, emotionally, and leave a person feeling grief-stricken for a long time to come; depending on your level of emotional connection with the person who has passed on, overcoming the death of a loved one can take weeks, months – or even years. Grieving is a process that we must all go through after the death of a loved one, and it’s a process which is unique to every person. There are, however, a number of common steps which may help during this difficult time. The formalities While the death of a loved one can set off a tide of sadness and emotion in a person, the formalities associated with arranging a funeral, as well as ensuring that the departed’s last wishes are carried out, as laid out in the...
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Stereotypes do not exist when looking for love over 50
Article by Dr Lynda Shaw Why do people look for love after 50? Is it because they dislike being on their own? Or perhaps they just want someone to go to dinner parties and on holiday with? Is it because they need someone to help look after the house? Of course the answers vary depending on whom we speak to, so to find out more I asked a few people and quickly realised that stereoptypes and ageism do not exist. For instance, one chap told me that he used to think he was in love with his wife whom he married in his twenties. But since their divorce he had met a woman who had really shown him what love truly means. I quizzed him further, asking if this was a love that was born out of companionship with a woman who had the same interests as him. His next...
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Do women re-think their relationship when they turn 50?
Article by Cat Williams As a relationship counsellor I would say yes, women do re-evaluate and re-think their relationships in their 50’s and 60’s because it is often a time in our lives when we feel a new sense of freedom. Our children are likely to have ‘flown’ and we might therefore be able to make new choices and might have new needs and expectations. I think there is also a sense of responsibility to ‘make the most of life’ before health issues might concern us, or grandchildren might limit us, and so on. We might have a sense of fear that if we don’t ‘get things right’ we might have regrets later on, or we might be trying to compensate for regrets we have about the past. It can be a time when women are looking for a greater sense of companionship from their partner because they have more...
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Fifty Shades of Grey
By eHarmony There comes a time in every man’s life when he must acknowledge his increasing years and alter his lifestyle. For some situations the correct course of action is clear – no man over the age of 30 should wear skinny jeans; a baby seat won’t fit into a two-seater sports car; and that third pint on Friday night will still be having an effect three days later. However, men are often in a quandary when the first flecks of grey start to show. Do they embrace their faded follicles or restore their locks with hair dye? This common dilemma can strike at any moment. All it takes is a careless remark by a close friend and suddenly each morning is spent counting those pesky silver strands. Wanting to maintain a youthful hair colour isn’t always about vanity. When gents are feeling vulnerable about their looks, the loss of...
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Can you overcome and move on from a cheat or affair?
Article by Cat Williams Can relationships survive an affair? Relationships expert Cat Williams explores…. The real reason why affairs happen. Before we choose to have an affair, whatever the circumstances, we are experiencing a period of low self-esteem. We usually know that an affair is probably not a good idea but we don’t know how to fix or improve our current relationship, so if an opportunity to have an affair is presented, we may take it to feel better about ourselves. Being wanted by someone else, especially secretly, gives a great boost to our self-esteem. What happens next? Once the affair is disclosed or discovered, it usually has an impact on the self-esteem of both partners. The person who had the affair usually feels even worse about himself or herself than ever, and the partner who was cheated on usually feels betrayed and not good enough to be faithful to....
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Mixing Up 4 Generations Used To Be Normal
Article by By Dr Lynda Shaw In 1952 when our Queen came to the throne of England she sent out 300 telegrams to those celebrating their 100th birthday and 14% of the population were over 60 years old. In 2012, the Queen sent out 13,420 telegrams, and 20% of the population was over 60 years old. Fantastic news but there’s a problem. We are just not seeing the mix of generations that we used to and this is vital for an ever increasing ageing population. Why do many of our young not choose to enjoy the company of those of us with so many interesting stories to tell and so much life experience? Why do older people not understand and subsequently dismiss the young? In society today, we are increasingly separating people into groups according to their age. The elderly are perhaps in care homes or living alone. They may...
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6 Online Dating Tips For Mature Daters
Article by Liz Looking for love at any age isn’t always easy, but it can be especially daunting when you’re fifty or over. You might not know where to start or how to meet people you’ll click with. This is particularly true when it comes to online dating, but don’t be quick to discard the idea of searching for love on the internet. It’s safe to say that by now you probably know someone who has found the love of their life online, so why shouldn’t it work for you too? Here are some online dating tips for mature daters to get you started. 1. Choose your online dating site wisely. There are hundreds of online dating sites on the internet, but it’s important to sign-up with one you feel best meets your needs. Are you looking for serious, long-term relationship or something more casual, like an activity partner? Are...
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New plans to cap care home fees – key facts with infographic
Article by Fabafterfifty New plans to cap the cost of care have been announced. For anyone navigating the process of organising care for a family member or wanting to understand the implications for their own long term future, the proposals are explained. KEY FACTS Facts on current care costs and the cap Care costs are unpredictable – one in ten people have care costs of over £100,000 whilst one in five have no care costs; There is no safety net to protect people them from losing almost everything they have saved up and worked for in their lifetime. Individuals with assets of £150,000 face paying up to £120,000 pounds towards their care and support. The number of over 85 is set to double by 2030, and cases of dementia expected to rise at a similar rate. This increases the importance of addressing the uncertainty individuals face about their care costs. The reforms are: A...
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