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Fabafterfifty: Bereavement

  1. A Celebration of a Very Special Life

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    Article by Gina Kirkham “… oh, and I don’t want soggy butties and people weeping and wailing at my funeral. I want a party, a damned good knees up, is that a deal?” Sheila Jane Radestock January 2006 (My Mum) I’ve lost track over the years as to how many times the phrase ‘I don’t want soggy butties’ whispers through my mind. Normally it springs to the fore at some poor unfortunate’s traditional funeral where the sandwiches alternate between being squashed and soggy or stale and curled up at the edges…..…and that then makes me wonder how others viewed my Mum’s funeral, or Celebration of Life as we preferred to call it. Is it ever truly possible, or even normal, to say you had a wonderful time...
  2. The Importance of International Bereaved Mother’s Day

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    Article by Alexis Marie Chute You have probably noticed the Mother’s Day advertisements plastered on every available sign and windowfront for the last month. Marketers won’t let you forget about celebrating your mom, your grandma, and the mother of your children, particularly if that’s you! However, these ads can provoke a painful reaction in some women and couples, which is one important reason why International Bereaved Mother’s Day is so important. This celebration is typically not covered much in mainstream media, but is critical for the multitude of people that are grieving for a child. International Bereaved Mother’s Day was started by Carly Marie Dudly in Australia and has been embraced by people around the world. This year, the remembrance day takes place on May 7,...
  3. After the Death of his Mum: How I have tried to help my husband get through his grief

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    Article by Juliet Young When my mother-in-law fell seriously ill last summer it came as such a shock to our whole family that we had no idea how to react. Why her? She was surely the healthiest of us all. Only seventy-two years old and fighting fit. After early retirement she had started to run regularly and had completed several 10km races, coming in at just over an hour. Pretty damn good for her age! She ate well, hardly drank any alcohol, always carefully looking after her body and her skin. She was a slim, beautiful Jackie Kennedy lookalike and a real inspiration for the younger women in our family. I knew her for almost thirty years and never once saw her...
  4. How to Move Past “Stuck”: Tips for moving on with your life

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    Article by Liz Copeland We’ve probably all experienced being “stuck”: stuck in a job we can’t stand, stuck in a relationship we just can’t seem to get ourselves out of, stuck in a way of thinking that isn’t helping us move forward. Sometimes, we are stuck because external circumstances just aren’t going our way, but more often, says life coach Liz Copeland of www.lizcopeland.co.uk, “we get stuck when we have big or difficult decisions to make, or we need to move on, but just choose not to. Sometimes we don’t even know we are stuck, but there are signs…” Signs of Being Stuck Ruminating on the same thing over and over again Focused on the past or going over one situation such as a break up Trying to...
  5. Grief: An Unusually Positive Perspective

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    Article by Carmella B’Hahn       Loss and grief have honed me into who I am today: strong in spirit and deeply content as well as vulnerable at times. I am now a grief counsellor and an author and I write about the power of connecting with what lies beneath the surface, beyond our persona, our stories and our ego.   In February 1992 my five-year-old my son, Benjaya, who was one of the first babies to be born in water in England in 1986, slipped down a riverbank and drowned, shattering my reality in an instant. I had been immersed in the personal transformation movement for 15 years at that point, and yet this meeting with loss became my most profound teacher. Can we see death as an initiation? I was, of...
  6. Ten tips for a first relationship after losing your partner

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    By Dr Lynda Shaw  1.  It’s a good idea to join a club, group or society so when you are ready you can meet like-minded individuals, who may share similar interests whether they turn out to be just friends or more.  Maybe try a walking club, lunch club or a chess club?  It is a good way to get out there again. 2.   Don’t feel guilty if you are interested in meeting someone.   Your late partner would most likely want you to enjoy life. You will know in your heart of hearts when the time is right. Of course, you will never forget your first true love however, you’re never closing the book on your partner, you are simply starting a different chapter in your life. Others may...
  7. Why is it important to build an independent life over 50? 7 top tips to prepare for a single life

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    Article by Ceri Wheeldon At times it seems that the world is full of couples, and if you are married or in a long term relationship, it is so easy to slip into being one half of a couple, instead of an individual. It is a hard fact of life, however, that most women will find themselves living alone at some point. Just watching the much acclaimed Fabulous Fashionistas highlighted how life had changed for those women in the programmes who found themselves widowed – one after a happy 54 year marriage. They had all embraced this new stage of their lives with gusto! We never know when , or for what reason we may find ourselves...
  8. How to Get Over the Death of a Loved one

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    Article by Fabaferfifty Death is, unfortunately, an inevitable part of life. The death of a loved one can be utterly devastating, emotionally, and leave a person feeling grief-stricken for a long time to come; depending on your level of emotional connection with the person who has passed on, overcoming the death of a loved one can take weeks, months – or even years. Grieving is a process that we must all go through after the death of a loved one, and it’s a process which is unique to every person. There are, however, a number of common steps which may help during this difficult time. The formalities While the death of a loved one can set off a tide of sadness and emotion in a person, the formalities associated with arranging a funeral,...
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