Stereotypes do not exist when looking for love over 50
Fabafterfifty: Couples
Issues arising in long term relationships discussed
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Article by Dr Lynda Shaw Why do people look for love after 50? Is it because they dislike being on their own? Or perhaps they just want someone to go to dinner parties and on holiday with? Is it because they need someone to help look after the house? Of course the answers vary depending on whom we speak to, so to find out more I asked a few people and quickly realised that stereoptypes and ageism do not exist. For instance, one chap told me that he used to think he was in love with his wife whom he married in his twenties. But since their divorce he had met a woman who had really shown him what love truly means. I quizzed him further, asking if this was a love that was born out of companionship with a woman who had the same interests as him. His next...
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Do women re-think their relationship when they turn 50?
Article by Cat Williams As a relationship counsellor I would say yes, women do re-evaluate and re-think their relationships in their 50’s and 60’s because it is often a time in our lives when we feel a new sense of freedom. Our children are likely to have ‘flown’ and we might therefore be able to make new choices and might have new needs and expectations. I think there is also a sense of responsibility to ‘make the most of life’ before health issues might concern us, or grandchildren might limit us, and so on. We might have a sense of fear that if we don’t ‘get things right’ we might have regrets later on, or we might be trying to compensate for regrets we have about the past. It can be a time when women are looking for a greater sense of companionship from their partner because they have more...
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Can you overcome and move on from a cheat or affair?
Article by Cat Williams Can relationships survive an affair? Relationships expert Cat Williams explores…. The real reason why affairs happen. Before we choose to have an affair, whatever the circumstances, we are experiencing a period of low self-esteem. We usually know that an affair is probably not a good idea but we don’t know how to fix or improve our current relationship, so if an opportunity to have an affair is presented, we may take it to feel better about ourselves. Being wanted by someone else, especially secretly, gives a great boost to our self-esteem. What happens next? Once the affair is disclosed or discovered, it usually has an impact on the self-esteem of both partners. The person who had the affair usually feels even worse about himself or herself than ever, and the partner who was cheated on usually feels betrayed and not good enough to be faithful to....
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Are you single and lonely? Bored in your relationship? Top Valentine’s tips for relationships from Dr Ro
Article by Dr Rohan Weerasinghe Valentine’s Day can highlight a number of different relationship issues, many of which could be addressed at any time of the year. From reigniting a relationship which has become stale in midlife, to addressing feelings of loneliness if you are single, Dr RO addresses questions and emotions that people feel or want to ask about but are often afraid to ask: How to reignite a stale relationship in midlife I love and care for my partner but we have lost our connection – what can I do to re-ignite it? Firstly it is important not to feel alone in this experience – I have met hundreds of couples who experience this. Valentine’s Day is a great day to take advantage of as if gives you a chance to make a special effort to bring some new passion into the relationship. However, it cannot stop with Valentines...
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Do you worry that you look older than your partner?
Article by Fabafterfifty As couples stay together, they age together, but do we appear to age at the same rate, and does it worry you if people assume that you are the older of the two, even if you are in fact younger? I know at least one friend who is five years younger than her husband, but most people assume that she is married to a younger man. Does it upset her? Yes. It seems she is not alone, although for others perceptions are changing. There has always been an assumption that women are more susceptible to age faster than men, but research conducted by YSL shows that this stereotype is starting to change. ”Women have always been much more aware of the aging process, and as a result this may mean they are making provisions that men aren’t. ”Females have had it drummed in to them about the...
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Relationships over 50 – how to mend your broken heart
Article by psychotherapist and health writer, Christine Webber Being broken hearted is just about the worst pain in the world. It can devastate people at any age – but can feel especially painful for those who are fifty or over, particularly if they thought they were settled for life. You can suffer from heart-break if you’re dumped. Or if your partner dies. Or even if you’re the one choosing to walk away from a relationship. Whatever the circumstances, it’s not just the loss of a partner which is so devastating; it’s the fact that you have to face up to the end of your emotional investment and a whole set of hopes and dreams. However, the fact is that though you no longer have this particular relationship to sustain and stimulate you, you may very well get into another one. Loads of adults in their 50s and 60s – and even...
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Are you ready to start dating again after divorce, separation or partner loss?
Article by Teresa Welch How do you know if you are ready for dating again after relationship collapse? For some the thought of dating again fills them with dread, and for others they can’t wait to get back in the dating scene. Having suddenly become single myself after a 12 year marriage ended and with two very small children, dating was the last thing on my mind, and naively at only 34 I thought that when I was ready it would be easy. How wrong could I have been? No one tells you that your life will never be the same again. Different, but never the same. Through chance in the early day’s I did go on a couple of dates. I was going through a divorce & that was my main concern & affecting every area of my life. So of course the whole dating experience was me boring...
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Everyone knows their place, don’t they? How retirement can affect your relationship.
Article by Sue Taylor People who live together for a long time usually act out the same roles, day in and day out. They don’t even think about who will put the kettle on or who will take the dog out for a walk. They just do it. They know their ‘place’ in the grand scheme of things. Sally and Alan have been married for 30 years. Every morning Sally prepares breakfast and as they eat, Alan watches TV, waits for the travel news, checks his diary and heads off for work. Sally clears away the dishes and then decides what she will do with the rest of her day. It is a relaxed lifestyle, now the children have left home and their stable relationship gives them both enormous pleasure. Wind forward a few years. Alan retires and he feels lost. For a few weeks he hangs around, painting whatever...
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Do men suffer a crisis of confidence as they approach retirement?
Article by Larry Gould It was 11 o’clock on a spring morning 13 years ago. I sat in a daze sipping a warm cappuccino and waiting for my wife in the plush surroundings of the Harvey Nicks Café on Five thinking about the weeks leading up to my departure, and trying to decide how to spend the rest of my life, when I was rudely interrupted by a tap on the shoulder. I looked up to see an old ‘friend’ with whom I had shared a flat in London. I never really liked the guy as, amongst other things, he was always a bigger hit with the ladies than I (and too often for it to be a coincidence, usually the same ladies I had my eye on). “I heard you sold up Larry, congratulations!” He said. I nodded and tried to look disinterested. “So what does it feel like...
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How NOT to be complacent in midlife relationships
Article by Damian Hughes. Billy Connolly jokes about spotting the danger signs of complacency creeping into his relationship with his wife. “One year, I wrote on my wife’s Valentine’s card, ‘I love you, dear. P.S See last year’s card for details.’” The many changes and transitions of midlife – kids growing up and leaving home (or staying!), retirement uncertainties, physical changes, possible desires for new focus – can all impact of our relationship. However, getting things back on track with a loved one, or on a new track, if desired, can be simpler than we think and the starting point is to look at how you are communicating with each other. Let me explain. Understand your signals Psychologists suggest that during the conversations we have with others, we make signals or ‘bids.’ If that word makes you think of a poker game or an auction room, then you’re on the...
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