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Fabafterfifty: Emptynesting

  1. Empty Nests: Dealing with Loneliness and Boredom

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    Very often, women who’ve devoted the greater part of their lives to their families suddenly find themselves quite alone and bored once their children move on to uni and their own lives. This is especially likely if they are single by that time, or in a relationship that’s unfulfilling in some way. Being suddenly alone is, in a sense, a form of bereavement and is often associated with depression and a feeling of being rudderless. Few people are actually prepared for this kind of emotional upheaval, whatever they may think beforehand. Wallowing in self-pity won’t achieve anything, though, so think about what steps you can take towards your own happiness. Explore New Interests Most of us have spent decades “about to” learn Italian, get back to the piano lessons we had to abandon or start...
  2. Bye Bye Baby Bird – again!

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    Article by Juliet Young I am a real Mother-Clucker. The ultimate Queen of the roost. A busy hen fussing and flapping around my two chicks since the day they were born. And that was now over 21 and 18 years ago. How time flies when your baby birds are growing up. I loathed leaving them for any reason whatsoever so I categorically refused to work when they were babies, causing more than a little concern in the Home Finance Department. But we finally managed to agree that it would cost almost all of my salary to pay for a nanny so I may as well stay at home to look after them. Phewee! The idea of anyone other than their Queen Mother here, kissing their scraped little knees or ruffling...
  3. The nest is empty, what now?

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    Article by Karen Burge All over the world there are mothers sitting on the edge of their child’s bed crying. Perhaps holding a dirty T-shirt and breathing in the smell of the absent teenager. Yes, it’s that time of year when those irritating, noisy, smelly, stroppy youngsters finally leave home, yet instead of celebrating, their parents are struck down by grief. It’s grief for a passing stage in their lives, for a job done, for the shedding of parental responsibility. The house is silent now. There are no shrieks of laughter, no pounding music, no footsteps on the stairs and the slamming of doors. In contrast the fridge is full.  No-one has finished the orange juice, eaten all the cheese or left the bread out.  The laundry basket is almost empty, the...
  4. Moving on after divorce in your 50s – practical steps to build a new social life

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    By the Midlife Divorcee Nobody expects to get divorced in their 50s, irrespective of who made the decision to bring the marriage to a close – with all the emotional and financial upheaval associated with it, but life does move on. Don’t let this life change turn you into a hermit! Look for groups to join to get out and about Finding yourself on your own also means reviving your social life. To begin with you might be happy to spend time with family members and other couples, but at some point you will want to branch out on your own.  But how? Meetup Groups have proven to be a valuable lifeline for many people wanting to relaunch their social  lives. Not just for singles, meetup groups  are informal groups set up by...
  5. How to fill the void when the kids leave home.

    Article by Anna Letitia Cook Do you have that empty feeling? Does it seem that there isn’t any real purpose behind what you do? I still have that and my children are now 25 and 26 years old. I would never class myself as the maternal type, I definitely don’t do the goo-goo gaa-gaa bit with babies, and to this day if you get someone who starts talking about starting a family, nappies, how cutie-pie did their first whatever, you will either see me glazing over to zombiehood or, much more likely, beating Usain Bolt in the race to get out the door… Having said that, my children are the most fabulous children that ever walked this earth and I would do anything, anytime, anywhere for them, and to...
  6. What’s more upsetting, your children moving out or moving back in?

    Article by Fab after Fifty You work hard to raise good kids who will be able to make it on their own once they arrive in the real world. And although it can be a heart breaking day when they finally leave the nest, it’s also a moment to feel proud and look forward to the next stage in your time as a parent. You get to see your kids forge careers and become independent adults; maybe one day you’ll even have grandchildren to enjoy. So it can be a bit of an unexpected surprise when one or more of your kids returns home long term. But the fact is this is happening more and more. And it’s not because we’re not preparing them for the world or because they...
  7. The Fab 50s – Managing the new Chapter of your Life

    Article by Carole Spiers Being over 50 can be the beginning of a new chapter in your life; a time of growth and a period of regeneration. Middle age may be upon you but you have the experience and possibly the lines on your face that go with it!  Of course, you might wish that they weren’t there but that is another story!  However, they are there and each one tells the tale of your life’s experience. The post 50’s chapter brings not only experience but also brings you greater influence.  This is a time when reality starts biting and the dreams that you had when you were younger may now be drifting away into the mists of early romantic visions.  Having now faced the hard realities of life and the work required...
  8. Home for Christmas – your child, homesickness and how to handle it.

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    Article by Caroline Carr Has your son or daughter just finished their first term at university or college? How have they been? And how have you been? Has the break away from you been tricky or traumatic, or has it been absolutely fine? Lots of young people will not allow themselves to admit to being homesick – yet I reckon many long to be back with their families for ages after they have ‘left home.’ This can fuel or even trigger anxiety and/or depression sometimes. And you might never know, because they don’t tell you. I had a client who had a promising career, but had developed what I believe was a Generalised Anxiety Disorder whilst at University. She had told no-one, but her student life was...
  9. Are we sending our children off to University not knowing how to boil and egg?

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    Article by Fabafterfifty It seems we are sending our children off to university with many of them not knowing how to boil an egg or do their own washing according to a new survey. Hopefully they won’t starve as they learn how to bake potatoes or learn how to use the washing machine (it seems many mums can expects visits home with the ‘pleasure’ of handling the dirty washing! But even if they have not quite managed to come grips with the iron or tumble dryer, there are gadgets they are more than capable of using, such as mobile phones and laptops, so you can expects calls, texts , emails and messages via social media to keep you up to date with their progress. Better at setting up laptops than using the vacuum cleaner Staggeringly,...
  10. How to cope with the changes an Empty Nest brings

    Article by Irene Brankin You may be approaching the ‘Empty Nest’ with dread, but as Irene Brankin explains, the empty nest can also open up a whole new world of possibilities: My business card has on the back of it “Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans” (John Lennon) not only because it makes me smile but because of my own experience of just that in many different ways including illness, loss of different “hats” I held and my son leaving home for University and marriage. So yes, life has a way of pulling the rug from under you not only children leaving home (the Empty Nest Syndrome), but nowadays so many are losing their jobs, perhaps through no fault of their own, illness, divorce, death and, of course, everyday problems that can arise...
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