The Fab 50s – Managing the new Chapter of your Life
Fabafterfifty: Emptynesting
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Article by Carole Spiers Being over 50 can be the beginning of a new chapter in your life; a time of growth and a period of regeneration. Middle age may be upon you but you have the experience and possibly the lines on your face that go with it! Of course, you might wish that they weren’t there but that is another story! However, they are there and each one tells the tale of your life’s experience. The post 50’s chapter brings not only experience but also brings you greater influence. This is a time when reality starts biting and the dreams that you had when you were younger may now be drifting away into the mists of early romantic visions. Having now faced the hard realities of life and the work required to maintain relationships, you will probably have discarded many of the assumptions and illusions of your youth....
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Home for Christmas – your child, homesickness and how to handle it.
Article by Caroline Carr Has your son or daughter just finished their first term at university or college? How have they been? And how have you been? Has the break away from you been tricky or traumatic, or has it been absolutely fine? Lots of young people will not allow themselves to admit to being homesick – yet I reckon many long to be back with their families for ages after they have ‘left home.’ This can fuel or even trigger anxiety and/or depression sometimes. And you might never know, because they don’t tell you. I had a client who had a promising career, but had developed what I believe was a Generalised Anxiety Disorder whilst at University. She had told no-one, but her student life was marred by underlying feelings of worry and anxiety, and also very low mood – and she had no idea why. She had coped...
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Are we sending our children off to University not knowing how to boil and egg?
Article by Fabafterfifty It seems we are sending our children off to university with many of them not knowing how to boil an egg or do their own washing according to a new survey. Hopefully they won’t starve as they learn how to bake potatoes or learn how to use the washing machine (it seems many mums can expects visits home with the ‘pleasure’ of handling the dirty washing! But even if they have not quite managed to come grips with the iron or tumble dryer, there are gadgets they are more than capable of using, such as mobile phones and laptops, so you can expects calls, texts , emails and messages via social media to keep you up to date with their progress. Better at setting up laptops than using the vacuum cleaner Staggeringly, more students could even set up their laptop or video games console independently than vacuum...
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How to cope with the changes an Empty Nest brings
Article by Irene Brankin You may be approaching the ‘Empty Nest’ with dread, but as Irene Brankin explains, the empty nest can also open up a whole new world of possibilities: My business card has on the back of it “Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans” (John Lennon) not only because it makes me smile but because of my own experience of just that in many different ways including illness, loss of different “hats” I held and my son leaving home for University and marriage. So yes, life has a way of pulling the rug from under you not only children leaving home (the Empty Nest Syndrome), but nowadays so many are losing their jobs, perhaps through no fault of their own, illness, divorce, death and, of course, everyday problems that can arise unexpectedly. Life just doesn’t happen as you want it to, however, much...
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How do we continue to act as role models for our adult children?
Article by Jackie O’Carroll Part of getting older is being wiser about parenting – making a success of our lives, continuing to act as role models for our children. But sometimes it’s hard. Leaving our son and daughter in London, where they both live, we are heading back up north to Liverpool. Over the years I have learnt to let go. It’s not easy and I know that if they were living at home again full time it might be different. I know that they need their own space, that they need parents who believe in them and who encourage them to go – to make their own mistakes, their own success, their own lives. But it is still hard, watching them go, walking away to their own lives of which I know some, but probably not much! As it should be really. Trusting sons and daughters I remember when...
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Letting go of Grown Up Kids
Article by Diane Priestley Leaving home is a process. Sometimes we must rip off the band-aid fast and feel the sting; other times ease it off gently. Number One son, Daniel had launched himself into adult life in spectacular style a few years before. He is now a successful entrepreneur and acclaimed public speaker. A hard act to follow, but eventually it was his little sister’s turn. The first time our beautiful daughter, Justine left home she was 17, straight out of high school as a dazzling, award-scooping High Achiever. In a blaze of glory she moved to Brisbane city, an hour’s monotonous drive from our Sunshine Coast home. We helped her transport her stuff to the tiny flat with her gal pal and toasted her freedom with a cup of tea over bulging cardboard boxes. I wandered around our empty house howling, bereft. My grief was premature however. She...
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Ten top tips for personal statement success for your child’s university application
Article by Fabafterfifty Is your son or duaghter struggling with their personal statement as they complete their university application? The latest tips from UCAS will enable you to give them a helping hand. With the January 15 deadline fast approaching, UCAS has released these ten top personal statement tips for anyone applying to university or college. Christmas is a great time to put the finishing touches to the statement, which could be the only piece of written work admissions professionals see before making a decision. The writing should show applicants at their very best and following these ground rules should get you (or your son or daughter) off to a great start. 1. Express interest in the subject and show real passion UCAS adviser Ross Sanger said: “My major tip is to really show your ambitions and desires for wanting to do the course. In other words, putting across your...
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How to Cope with Empty Nest Syndrome
Article by Kay Newton Most people think that Empty Nest Syndrome is passing phase that happens to most parents particularly around September when children leave home to attend college or university for the first time. Recent studies show that this is not the case, contrary to belief most parents thrive when their children fly the nest. http://www.apa.org/monitor/apr03/pluses.aspx Yet for some women in particular the pain of watching a child leave home can be just as debilitating and as lengthy as bereavement. “First my father, now my youngest, I’ve lost him. I’ve lost them both” Sobbed Elaine. It took a while before the emotions stopped enough for a rational conversation. Yes her father had passed yet her children had only left home. In Elaine’s eyes there was no distinction. “I do not know what to do with myself, I have no purpose in life, I have no interests, no confidence, no...
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Emptynester Susan shares her anguish as her diabetic daughter leaves home for university
Guest article by Susan McNally “I’ve left my baby daughter behind at Unversity in her hew home, with strangers. They seemed really lovely and different in both culture and life experiences but will they understand her? I looked at them with such trepidation; I would possibly be relying on them to save my youngest daughters life and we didn’t even know them! I already knew how painful it would be to proudly wave her off as I had already done twice before but to watch a diabetic daughter go was a whole different ball game of panic, guilt and worry. Hannah was a quiet girl, pretty and confident regardless of her sometimes withdrawn behaviour – but who could blame her? When diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at 14 she seemed to slowly withdraw socially, this happy little bundle of yellow which is how I mostly think of her in her...
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The Physical Impact of Becoming an Emptynester. Waving Goodbye, Not Drowning
Article by Anne Elliott I’m tired, I’m stressed, I’m worried, I’m sad. What could have happened to cause such calamity? I have just packed my daughter off to university. I am amazed at what a profound effect this has had on my health and well-being. A huge rite of passage. I didn’t think I’d be like this. In fact at times in the recent past I was counting the days, as my house became a hotel and I was a personal servant and laundry service. And yet I find myself rattling around the house, which seems so much emptier now even though she’s only an hour away. About a month ago it began, the slow build up of washing, ironing, finding accommodation, buying equipment, form filling and a thousand other things. I probably went completely over the top because this great big 20 year old is still my defenceless baby...
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