Article by Jackie O’Carroll

Part of getting older is being wiser about parenting – making a success of our lives, continuing to act as role models for our children. But sometimes it’s hard.

Leaving our son and daughter in London, where they both live, we are heading back up north to Liverpool. Over the years I have learnt to let go.

It’s not easy and I know that if they were living at home again full time it might be different.

I know that they need their own space, that they need parents who believe in them and who encourage them to go – to make their own mistakes, their own success, their own lives. But it is still hard, watching them go, walking away to their own lives of which I know some, but probably not much! As it should be really.

Trusting sons and daughters

I remember when they were teenagers….our friends had different views about how much freedom, privacy and independence our children should have. We played it by ear, trusting that our son and daughter would know for themselves – they responded with respect for us as parents and a belief in themselves.

In the midst of this letting go however, there remains the pull to keep them close, to warn of dangers and risks, to limit their choices. But we managed not to. Even so, watching them walk away from us, towards their own lives is hard. I still shed a few tears and think of when they were little and needed us so acutely, so much. Now they need us in very different ways and of course we are still there for them.

Sometimes I wonder if I am now too independent and focused on my own life and goals? But of course if needed I would drop everything to support them, That will never change.

So what can we learn from our ‘growing up’ children?

That the letting go,  trusting them and ourselves is hard but vital, for without that we limit both our children and ourselves.

That our children need encouragement to move out of their comfort zones, that having the courage to step forward is the way to feeling fulfilled and proud of themselves and their achievements…and that they have to keep on doing it – as do we!

Bio

Jackie O’Carroll is a Personal Development Coach, motivator and facilitator. Through her business ‘The Room of Possibilities’ Jackie offers 1 to 1 and group coaching, workshops and programmes to support women looking to re – find their passion for life! For further information contact Jackie on mail@jackieocarroll.com

Main image photo credit:  Free Digital Photos

Article by Ceri Wheeldon

The latest employment figures show the over 50 s as having the largest rise in long term unemployment, and many of those finding work accepting part-time roles.

Many of us in our 50s  have found ourselves in situations we could never have imagined a decade ago – underemployed or unemployed.

With no sign of the economy improving in the short term how does this impact anyone in this situation? Are there any solutions?

What do you do if your income from your  part-time employment falls far short of meeting your requirements?

Personally I cannot stress enough the need to remember that anyone currently in their 50s is far from at the end of their working life. Even if accepting part-time employment now, look at the long term picture too.

What can we do if we have to accept part-time work?

• Can you use any additional skills gained in part-time work to make you more employable in a full-time role?
• Could having one part-time role help form the basis of ‘portfolio’ working, adding other part-time work into the mix or setting up a business alongside?
• Can you attend courses/ training alongside your work to plug any skills gap which may be the barrier to gaining full-time employment. To remain employable you need to keep your skillbase current.
• Does your cv which you are submitting for full time employment accurately reflect your marketable skills in today ‘s workplace? Tailor each cv to individual  job openings where necessary. I have met people who have literally sent out hundreds of CVs, none of which clearly stated what they could offer each potential employer. Disheartening for them to face constant rejection, especially if a more focussed cv could have made a difference!
• What if it is your partner who is underemployed? The same principles apply.
• Ask at your local jobcentre if there are any jobcoaching programmes or courses you might be eligible for.
• Network, network, network! Network informally with friends, family and former colleagues, online via linkedin, facebook and twitter, and attend networking events. Some networking groups such as Business Biscotti are free to join and only charge a few pounds to cover the cost of tea and coffee to attend the events.
• If you are looking to set up your own business, look to see if events or mentoring programmes offered by PRIME – a charity set up by Prince Charles specifically to support the over 50s looking to set up businesses.
• Stay positive – women over 50 do make great employees!

If you have found yourself in this position, please share your thoughts and experience – so we can all learn and support each other!

Photo credit: Image(s): FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Article by Ceri Wheeldon.

I grew up as part of the Blue Peter generation. My family still make jokes about ‘sticky backed plastic’ and ‘get down Shep’.

We tuned in without fail to watch various presenters and pets, Christopher Trace, Valerie Singleton, Peter Purves and John Noakes, with pets Petra, Patch, Shep and Jason. Mum’s ‘surprise’ Mother’s Day gifts were never really a surprise, as we collected yoghurt pots, glue, bits of fabric and sticky backed plastic and my bedroom became a hive of creativity as we made whatever had been demonstrated earlier on Blue Peter.  I’m not sure that any of our efforts remotely resembled the gifts demonstrated, but one Christmas decoration I made still comes out nearly 45 years later and takes pride of place on the Christmas tree.

Blue Peter was watched by all the family

It was a programme I watched with my mother and grandmother, and know that my grandmother would often watch even if we weren’t visiting. So I was sad to hear that Blue Peter is being moved from its traditional slot on BBC One to move to a digital channel dedicated to children’s programmes.

Is it a symbolic move? I was always thought of BBC One as being a channel offering a variety of programmes for all generations. If children’s programmes are all moved across to a dedicated channel, which programmes will be moved next?

Will a decision be made to move all programmes appealing to adults of a certain age to a different channel, or programmes highlighting a specific religion? Will those children no longer watching BBC One as a result of the programme moving be encouraged to come back?

Apparently 7 % of children still only watch BBC One and do not watch digital channels at all. Whether the move is right or wrong,  the announcement of the Blue Peter move certainly made me look back fondly at my own Blue Peter memories. Will any other children’s programme sustain such longevity – it first aired in 1958.

It seems another chapter of my childhood is now firmly closed -  is it just a touch of nostalgia, or is there a case for broadcasting some programmes for all members of the family on the BBC  flagship channels?

Recipe by Diane Priestley.

Diane treated me to her delicious, healthy, sugar free treats- so I had to ask her to share the recipe!

Bliss Balls are a delicious protein-packed snack for the whole family. They are cane sugar-free, containing only natural fruit sugars.

These yummy treats will satisfy a craving for sweets (without sending your Blood Sugar Level sky-high.)

This makes about 20 small bliss balls. Double quantities for 40.

Ingredients:

8 fresh dates

2 heaped tablespoon sultanas

2 heaped tablespoon raisins

I cup of mixed nuts and seeds comprising:

Almonds (soak in water first, then drain)

Walnuts

Cashews

Sunflower Seeds

Sesame Seeds

Pumpkin Seeds

1 heaped tablespoon of pure cocoa powder (or super food cacao powder)

Freshly squeezed juice of one orange (or about half a cup of fruit juice)

About half a cup of desiccated coconut

Method

Put all ingredients (except coconut) into blender

Blend into a smooth paste

Roll into small balls and coat with coconut

Store in the fridge in an airtight container. Eat within five days. Alternatively Bliss Balls can be stored in the freezer and taken out to snack on as needed. Thaw them first!

Article by Fabafterfifty

As we live longer we should expect to should expect to work longer and draw upon property wealth to help fund care costs, argues a new think-piece by the International Longevity Centre – UK (ILC-UK)

The think-piece is published alongside polling evidence which found that:

• Just over two-fifths of  people agree that because people are living longer and healthier it is right that people work longer before they can claim a state pension by age      group.
• Those who agree that retirees play no part in the economic prosperity of the country are in the minority (17%).
• Just over two-fifths (42%) of the population think that as a society, we overestimate the impact of an ageing society.
• Almost two-fifths of adultsthink that the UK’s ageing population is a threat to our economic competitiveness with other nations (38%).

Retirement in flux, Changing perceptions of retirement and later life, argues that:

• Older citizens have a responsibility to remain in the labour market, where possible, to enable skills retention and minimise the fiscal burdens on taxpayers. But      alongside this, older people should have a right to support from employers, and society more generally, to enable longer working lives.
• Older people should have a right to remain in their own home. It is vital for the well-being of many older care recipients. But it is fair that older people draw upon their property wealth to help fund care costs
• Whilst the idea of an obligation to volunteer is contradictory. We all have a responsibility to remain active in our communities. Many older people are eager to volunteer in later life as part of an active retirement and opportunities to volunteer must therefore be appropriate: flexible, enjoyable, and oriented towards      utilising the skills older people have developed during their working life.

Are we right to expect to enjoy a long retirement?

It seems that any dreams of long holidays, sipping cocktails with our partners and pouring over brochures to we select our next cruise may have to be reassessed as our expectations of retirement may need to change.

Launching Retirement in Flux, Baroness Sally Greengross, Chief Executive at ILC-UK said:
“Increasing longevity has meant that the vast majority of people retiring today have developed expectations of at least twenty years in retirement. This expectation is simply not economically or socially sustainable. Our message for older people should be the same as the one we are giving to younger people. ‘Our economy and society need you’.”

David Sinclair, Assistant Director, Policy and Communications at ILC-UK added:
“We need to abandon the idea that people make contributions in their working life in return for support in retirement. Such an approach implies that retirement marks the point where older people’s contributions are no longer necessary or valuable. We need a new approach to old age and retirement, one which sees us all as citizens with rights and responsibilities.”

Retirement shouldn’t be like falling off a cliff edge

In the think-piece, ILC-UK urges the Government to ensure that any future ageing strategy incorporates the need for national “retirement” strategy, which sets out what older people can expect from the state, but also what they should expect to contribute to society.

ILC-UK also call on the Government and employers to introduce policy to facilitate and support the introduction of ‘gradual retirement’ to remove the cliff edge which currently separates work and retirement for many people. Government’s financial incentive structure must also be geared towards encouraging gradual retirement.

Article by Ceri Wheeldon

There is no cure for Crohn’s and nobody seems to know what causes it. It is an inflammatory bowel disease and is extremely debilitating.

At the time of my diagnosis my weight had plummeted to less than 7 stone. I was extremely weak (but still going to work every day  - even though my employer frequently sent me home) and repeated visits to my GP over a 10 month period had resulted in my being told I had everything from a  gastric bug and food poisoning to depression. My argument that I was not depressed but simply hadn’t the energy to put one foot in front of the other, especially as visits to the loo every 10 to 15 minutes meant I was also unable to sleep. I was also worried about the the loss of blood. I could only leave the house if I planned ahead where I would be able to access loos. In the end I insisted on a referral and paid to see a gastroenterologist privately. I was diagnosed with Crohn’s.

Being told at 28 that I was faced with a lifetime of steroids, steroid enemas and anti-inflammatory drugs, and potential surgery in the future to have a colostomy – and a bag- was devastating.

Managing Crohn’s Disease

However, I decided early on that now I knew what I was dealing with, I would manage the Crohn’s and it would not manage me.

I did my own research, I asked my specialist questions. Once I had the disease under control, I decided to try to manage with diet and alternative therapies.

For six months I ate rice cakes, poached fish and chicken. I drank gallons of aloe vera juice. Gradually more foods were added. I still do not eat red meat, and limit all pasteurised dairy products. In the past 24 years I have had only 3 significant relapses – and all during periods of extreme stress and at times where. due to circumstances, I have let my diet slip.

But there have been positives. I found managing my illness to fit in with the routine of being in paid employment difficult, especially as my role involved international travel frequently requiring the pressure of  5am departures for the airport.

I decided to set up my own business so that I could set my own routine, travel at times that suited me,  and not get stressed if I had to work close to a bathroom for a few days. It was the best move I ever made. Apart from being better for my health it was also financially more rewarding.

Crohns had not stopped me from having a full social life. I met and married my husband, who just happens to be a doctor so is understanding.
Most people who meet me have no idea that Crohn’s is part of my life. They think I am just a fussy eater!

Crohn’s is manageable

I do get extremely tired. I have come to learn the symptoms building up to a major flare up and now know when I have to slow down. Yes at these times I have to sometimes cancel social arrangements, and I am likely to be far less active on twitter and facebook as I have too little energy to think straight! But Crohn’s is manageable. There are far worse illnesses to live with.
When I look back to when I was initially diagnosed, I felt my life as I knew it had come to an end. But I have learnt that with the right attitude you can take control. The specialists said that I would not have the willpower to be able to manage my Crohn’s with such a strict diet long term. I simply said he had no idea how determined I could be. Nearly 25 years later I have been proven right!

Article by Ceri Wheeldon

Women want to be stylish over 50 but are there any rules as to how women over 50 should dress? I’m not a stylist (and certainly don’t pretend to be), but I am frequently asked for comments for radio and press about what women over 50 should and shouldn’t wear.

I always stress that there are no rules, and women over 50 are as individual as women in their 20s, 30s and 40s. We can all have our own individual style and should not feel that we need to conform to any particular way of dressing.

Yes our body shape changes over 50, but we can still find clothes that fit and flatter.

No rules, just tips for finding your style in your 5os

Look at quality over quantity- invest in same great wardrobe staples ( trousers, coats, jacket, white shirt, great fitting jeans, classic dress, cashmere sweaters), look out for sale bargains.

Let your personality shine through with accessories- don’t be afraid to be bold – either with style or colour!

Don’t be afraid to wear heels ! Kitten heels are far more flattering than flats!

Don’t get stuck in a style rut- experiment. Try on different styles and colours. Pick a style role model from TV and shop for yourself with their style in mind.

If the budget is tight, then look to restyle existing clothes- change sleeve or hem lengths. Rework necklines. Change buttons. Little alterations can make an outfit look like new.

Try ‘swishing’, whether with friends or at an organised event – swapping can be a fun and economic alternative to buying.

Can women over 50 have long hair? Absolutely- no reason not to! As long it’s in great condition and suits your face shape.

Refresh your makeup. Many of us started to wear make up in our teens, when we were striving to look older not younger! We have lots of tips  from celebrity make-up artist Ariane Poole, on how to make the most of new products- including some ‘how to’ make-up videos. A good starting point is often the make-up counter in department stores – ask to be shown how new colours and products can work for you.

I believe there are no fixed rules for how to dress over 50, but whatever you wear should enhance your confidence and reflect your personality. As our taste in music evolves over the years, so does our taste in clothes. We shouldn’t be afraid to adapt old favourites while adding something new and interesting into our style mix.

Article by Ceri Wheeldon

Phew! The last dress of the challenge! There are dresses with sleeves available to buy, we just have to know where to look. No excuse now for not being stylish over 50!

For Day 50 of the Dresses with Sleeves Challenge I have gone full circle and chosen another dress from Isabella Oliver. This one is a plain, elegant ruched jersey dress with long sleeves. I particularly like the Khaki version of this dress, but I only have the picture in blue. Plain , simple, with strategically placed ruching to minimise the tummy. The ruching allows you to adjust to the length you want. The simplicity of this dress makes it ideal for accessorising.

Ruched Jersey Dress from Isabella Oliver £99

I hope you’ve enjoyed the Dresses with Sleeves Challenge – any thoughts or comments on favourites or suggestions for future style challenges are welcome!

Article by Ceri Wheeldon

It’s always easy to reach for a pot of cream offering to firm skin, erase wrinkles, cure sagging. But can we learn and benefit from the past, natural ways of approaching anti-ageing and beauty?

I find that my own face has a tendency to be a little puffy first thing in the morning, but running a jade roller across my face (much to my husband’s amusement), and around my eyes seems to help reduce the  puffiness. The jade roller always feels cool on contact with the skin and is extremely soothing.

I was given my jade roller as a very welcome gift- but I contacted a company, White Lotus, who supplies jade rollers in the UK to ask them about the science and history behind this anti-ageing beauty tool.

The history of Jade Rollers

Jade holds a significant and even mystical place in Chinese society. Jade artefacts dating back to 5000BC have been found in China and Jade rollers have been found in tombs dating back to the 12^th century. During this time jade was always considered a symbol of beauty, grace and longevity. The ancient Emperors, his wives and concubines all made good use of these precious beauty products and jade rollers were part of every wealthy and powerful women’s beauty chest in ancient China. The Jade rollers have experienced continuous use right up to the present where they can be found in cosmetic acupuncture clinics and increasingly modern day spas. As the properties of jade become better known minute amounts of crushed jade are also beginning to be used in modern beauty creams.

A side note to the history
Jade was considered such a powerful stone of immortality that the Emperors of China had 15 jade suits In fact there was what was considered to be a legend of 15 jade suits worn by various emperors of China. The emperors believed these suits would grant them immortality. Some of these complete suits of jade have recently been uncovered and one is currently on display in Cambridge UK. http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2012/may/03/han-dynasty-immortality-suits-show

What are Jade Rollers used for?

Traditionally they were used to flatten wrinkles on the face and clear fluid congestion. Jade is an interesting semiprecious stone in that it remains cold while in contact with the skin (even in Brisbane, Australia in summer) and this allows it to help close the pores and tighten the skin. In modern understanding their most useful function is that they increase lymphatic drainage.

Increasing lymphatic drainage

Here we are referring to the interstitial fluid or the fluid that resides within the tissues. This fluid is responsible for providing cell nutrition and removing waste products and toxins. The lymphatic system has no pump to keep the lymph circulating and instead relies on muscle contraction. When this system does not function correctly there is a build-up of fluid in the tissues which can manifest as swelling and fluid retention in an area.

The lymphatic system responds very well to manual therapy. This can be done in a variety of ways, one of the easiest and most affordable ways being with a jade roller massage.

By improving lymphatic circulation you can provide improved nutrition to the cells in the epidermis and dermis. You can also increase the removal of waste products.

This is very useful in combination with microneedling as the micro trauma caused by the needles requires good nutrition to heal and the healing process creates a variety of waste products that need to be removed from the area.

Using the Jade Roller

Jade rollers are quick and easy to use. The basic principle is to roll in an upwards and outwards direction as this is believed to lift the qi or energy of the face. Traditionally the massage always started on the right side of the face and then massaged the left second as this is the direction the energy in this part of the body is believed to flow. The rollers are also excellent to use on areas such as the eyes and neck which are harder to treat.
In China the lighter the colour of the jade the more valuable it was considered. White Lotus only uses the more expensive lighter colour jade rather than the cheaper dark green jade commonly available. Traditionally jade was always kept in silk to protect it. White Lotus preserves this tradition by providing the jade rollers in a beautiful silk lined box.

Article by Ceri Wheeldon

We all want to look stylish and sophisticated over 50. We can still be colourful and add a bold colour to our summer wardrobe.

For Day 49 of the Dresses with Sleeves Challenge I have chosen a bright yellow shift dress with a cut out design. This is not a dress for anyone wanting to fade into the background!

This impeccably tailored dress features a round neckline, cut-out detail across the chest, panel detail at the waist and cutwork on the hem. It also has three-quarter length sleeves and a concealed back zip. Dramatic!

Jaeger Crescent Cut-0ut dress in yellow from John Lewis £299