Starting to Save at 50+. Having spent a lot of money and enjoyed my youth, I am now having to work really hard now to build a nest egg for my retirement. At 54, and starting a new career, my focus is now on making sure I can have a comfortable senior time. I have a different head on my shoulders now to when I was 27 and looking after a husband and children. Now I have no excuse to not be wise with regards to money.

Hope you all had a great weekend. My next entry of Snakes and Ladders…..

On a slightly different note… The thing I am finding difficult on a daily basis is our microwave society and the noise! Is there anyone else who wants to go somewhere and hideaway somewhere quiet, or is it just me!! There is a place that I do go from time to time, especially in the summer for some quiet time and peace, but I am not saying don’t want you all to invade my space, (LOL) find your own! Seriously though, the noise is unbearable sometimes. Actually the best time of the day to enjoy a quiet moment is about 4 or 5am in the morning, but not all of us are able to do this. Believe me it has great benefits, because that’s when you will get inspiration about what’s going on in your life, and what the lesson is. I think maybe it is to do with my age being an early riser I don’t need as much sleep anymore. Where was I? Oh yes – noise! It is so hard to think about what we are saying because we are surrounded by so much noise. Its easier to be calm and positive when all is quiet. The challenge we all face, is to maintain peace in this noisy world we live in, and to be patient with ourselves while we unravel the old mindsets that have mounted over the years. Like the unraveling of a ball of wool. Whether we like it or not, life has lots to teach us, and so we better get use to it.

Back to the game….

Games, like snakes and ladders, force us to focus on winning and yes it is a good feeling to win, but in the game of life, its about getting the lesson, so there are no losers because wherever you are in the game we are there to learn. We are being shaped . Yes shaped to become what was intended from the beginning of time. We must become loving and allow ourselves to see what really matters in life.

One of my lessons came about due to the loss of a very special friend. I had never experienced grief before. We had a short friendship, but it was so special that it has had an impact on my life. Sophia was a community person. She grew up in South London where everyone knew everyone, and cared about each other. I was brought up in an area where everyone did the opposite – mind their own business. When she use to share with me about her childhood memories, I was jealous. It sounded real fun. Her childhood experience made her love people, and she cared so much that she spent most of her life getting involved with community projects and sharing and smiling and loving. I miss her very much, but she came into my life for a season to teach me about loving people, especially the unlovable!
Since her passing, I got more involved in community projects, I had worked with her in a community project before she passed on. Before meeting her, I tended to keep myself to myself. I have improved because of my involvement with her. I have been in this game of life for quite some time now, and have made some terrible mistakes and learnt a lot of lessons, and of course I am still learning. The most difficult part in the game, is how to move on from the past. It holds us captive for far too long that we become stagnant, and miss all the wonderful opportunities being presented to us. The only way I have found to get out of this, is to set goals even if they are small ones. Eventually your focus will be reaching a goal, then the tired old past issues will fade into the background where it belongs. Always have something to look forward to, even if it’s a stroll in the park, meeting a friend or going to the cinema. Life is what you make it. If you are one of those people who take life too seriously, get with people who don’t – they are the best tonic! They laugh at themselves and never let life’s dramas beat them!

I suggest that you choose friends that will support you when you do feel down. I have learnt that none of us is ever going to be able to avoid landing on the snake no matter how clever we might be. The important thing is not to think about getting up the ladder straight away, but finding out what being at the bottom of the snake could be teaching you. Remember we learn far more about ourselves when we are at the bottom. (the lowest points in our life) At the bottom we are forced to face our dilemma, and trust me you will not be the same, when you come out the other side. As I have said before the board game suggests that you win when you are at the top of the ladder and the snakes says you are losing. In the real game of life that is not necessarily so.

There are lessons when you are at the bottom that will prepare you for when you go to the top of the ladder eventually, which I might add is short-lived. In the real game there is always ups and downs, so expect things to change. Seasons change, so do our lives. I am sure you have heard that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I have spent a lot of time at the bottom of the snake, and there were times when I thought that life was unfair. Now, I can see it wasn’t so bad because I became a lot wiser and I met some wonderful people, and I am a better person today. I am sure we have all been at the place where we thought we would never survive, and we did.

Have a great weekend all. More from Snakes and Ladders next week.

More from my snakes and ladders.

The game of life has lessons it wants to teach us whether we win or lose. Unlike the board game of life, there are other things other that can stops us winning. Life can be spiteful, it gives with one hand and takes with the other. If life is a game, then in order to beat it at its own game, try and not take it too seriously. I know it is not easy, but I have discovered that even winning has its price.
Experience someone once said, is our best teacher. Sliding down the snake although disappointing has a lesson, (in real life) and if you don’t find out what it is, believe me you’ll get another chance at some stage.
Often on top of the ladder, we become so comfortable that we fall off, and have to start the climb again. It is life showing us where we were complacent. We are often given a sign before the fall, but we ignore it. Winning or losing wherever you are, wants to teach you something. The rich are not exempt from life’s lessons, even if they do have lots of money! The only way to play the game, is to accept, learn the lesson, and move on. I have also discovered, it is not about winning really, it’s about learning.

To Play or Not to Play

Even if you decide not to play anymore, its not enough to exclude you, because if you really think about it, as long as you are breathing, you are in the game, and you have to play. Our family life, working life, and our surroundings force us to play.

The game began in the playground. As children, we were very much affected by whether we win or lose. I was always told at school that I am average, so it took quite a number of years for me to erase that and see myself as more than average. Why is it that we allow people to label and manipulate us? The simple answer is, because we don’t take time to get to know ourselves. Believe me once you do there is no one who will be able to label you and get away with it. In fact you will eventually attract those who honor who you are and respect you.. One, because you speak differently, and two, you walk differently. I must tell you though, that I have not arrived! (even after all my life experiences) I myself have made the statement at some point in my life that I don’t win anything, and of course because I believe this I am not likely to win any competitions ever! (because of my belief) Look at this other scenario we get into… Have you been in a two way conversation with someone and its as though there is points scoring i.e. ”I am no good at…… then the other person states….”I am worse than that! and it goes on until one gives in and changes the subject. It has to be said however that we are our own worst enemy, no good blaming others. The thing is I did win a tenner on the lottery once, so its not true that I never win anything! Its about breaking those old habits of speaking negatively. It became a habit my saying I don’t win anything. Breaking habits are not easy and it requires thinking before opening the mouth. Its about being aware of what we say, before we say it. Changing a habit of a lifetime as we all know, takes hard work.

Hope someone will get something from my writing. I am a Self Help Addict, and have learnt so much on the roller coaster of life. I have worn almost every T.Shirt of life. I am/have been a wife, a mother, a divorcee, a single, a parent, married, had affairs, had disappointing relationships, betrayals from friends, been cheated on…..you name it, I may have been there. But all of that experience was not wasted, because today I am the person I am today because of all these hats I have worn, and I am proud to say I am much wiser. One of my motto’s is….’Teach people how to treat you’. When I first read this somewhere, it made me realise that how I was being treated in the past I was actually allowing it to happen. Find yourself and be yourself. Have a wonderful day. Speak soon. x

More from my piece…. enjoy.

The Snake v the Ladder

The snake and the ladder, if you are familiar with the game, you will notice there are small ladders and big ones, as there are small snakes and big snakes. The thing is, no matter how small the ladder, you will know it is moving you to the top, unlike the small snake who will drag you kicking and screaming to the bottom. Ok what exactly is that telling you? It’s saying if we go up all the ladders, we will win the game, and if we fall on a snake we are likely to lose. Some of us will say, ”it’s only a game” and take it lightly when we are forced to go down the snake. Some of us take it seriously and get very moody or even aggressive, even though remember, its only a game! Some of us go as far as to cheat! We throw the dice and it says a five and we know we may want a six, so when our opponent is distracted we sneakily give ourselves an extra move. That extra move can eventually land us on a number that is on the snakes head and we secretly cry out to ourselves….”Why did I do that?” , or we land on a ladder and go up, but feel guilty knowing that we cheated. Now lets talk about how it can affect us mentally, although it is just a game. Some of us cry – ”I never win anything!” we see it as a negative. We go away feeling no good although we tell ourselves its just a game. I have often said that childhood stories have a lot to answer for (including games) in how we see ourselves. Sleeping beauty wakes up when she is kissed by a handsome young prince, and life is perfect! We know its a story, but it has an effect no matter how innocent. Women do indeed yearn to be that princess that is taken care of by her perfect and don’t leave out handsome prince. It’s such a disappointment when we grow up to find that it is much more complex than that, but we are still dreaming subconsciously.

The game of life is real and we sometimes go up a ladder, and sometimes we fall on a snake and go down. In the game of life, unlike the board game, when we go to the top of the ladder its not always what we expected and not how we expected to feel. I have often got to the top of the ladder in my life (my high points) and realised its not all that. That excited feeling wears off eventually. Even if we were to win most of the time, it would become boring.

My first Blog entry (no time like the present!!)

SNAKES AND LADDERS

Its just a Game

Life is what you make it, Live Life to the full, life’s lessons, and many other ways to describe life. You will always find me in the self-help section in a library, or bookshop, trying to find out how I can live life better, or seeking answers to life’s many questions. I am still reading, asking and trying to make sense of life and what it’s all about. Here is my take on life according to my own experience and why I call life, Snakes and Ladders. My idea of the snakes and ladders game of life we have been forced to join, I say forced because in board games (any) we can choose to play, or not to play, unlike the game of life, when we have to play whether we like it or not. I feel the real question is ”How can we have fun in the game of life, and beat it at it’s own game? How can we win? You see none of us enter a game with the intention of losing. We all play to win right? Well in this game we call life, my experiences of winning and losing have taught me a few lessons which I will share later, but let me just say that in my experience losing is better than winning. Now you are probably thinking….She’s totally lost me! Don’t give up on me yet, I’ll explain later, but for now, lets play snakes and ladders!

More next week…..

Hello all, I am happy to be a part of Fab after Fifty, because I am fabulous at 54!! I have two wonderful sons who are now 29 and 25. I work in the Security Industry, and I am a Mentor. I love sharing my experiences, so hang on to your seats, as I do have lots to share, and my passion is encouraging others to embrace themselves, and teaching people how to treat you. Hope I will be an inspiration to many who read my blogs.