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Do You Feel Lonely at Christmas?


lonely at christmas image

Article by Jackie Walker

Are you Feeling the Love, or just Lonely?

This time of year with its dark mornings and afternoons together with chilly weather, does little to help us concentrate on what’s good in our lives.  Add to that the sounds of Christmas, the pictures perpetrated by the media on what a happy time this is, time to celebrate with family, friends and that special someone.

Many find Christmas lonely if they are not in a relationship

It’s little surprise that so many find Christmas crushingly lonely if they are not in a relationship.  The internet dating sites take a huge leap in membership numbers at this time of year, for those who are looking for someone, and more often than not, anyone, who will fill the gap.

I would be lying if I said that I’d never been in this place myself.  I have and I didn’t enjoy it one little bit!  And did I make mistakes, oh yes!

What did I learn?  I learned that being alone was one of the most precious commodities money can’t buy.  I learned that being comfortable alone was the solution to being lonely.

Lonely and alone are very different beasts.  In lonely, you’re looking for someone to fill the gap.  Alone is a state of being, it’s a shortened version of All One.  When you are all one, you are complete in yourself. 

As humans, we do need human interaction, and we expect to have someone special in our lives.  Not only that, we are expected by others to have a partner. 

There are many ways in which to get human interaction, and for us to give and receive love.  Love is just love.  It cares not whether there’s sex involved.  It wants us to know that we can fill up our hearts by ourselves and share it with those around us willingly. 

Your relationship with yourself is important

Your relationships with friends, parents, children, siblings and work colleagues are important.  Your relationships within the community are important.  Your relationship with yourself is important.

What if this year you were to recognise all the love and support you have been given throughout the last 12 months which has brought you to today?  That could have been from the postie struggling through the thick snow, the supermarket checkout lady who smiles and chats to you, the cards which drop through your letter box from people who have been thinking of you. It could be your pet, if you have one. 

In order to be able to give love we need to feel its presence in our lives.  If it’s for the roof over our head, for the food on the table, for the sun rising every morning, that’s a fabulous start.  Truly you already know how lucky you are when you watch television and see some of the conditions people around the world live in.

When you start to think that you’re lonely, you start to focus on what is lacking in your life and that is a slippery slope to the bottom of the helter skelter.  It brings up the dark again, it brings up what you’re scared might happen, it paralyses you into believing your fears are true.  Let me tell you, they are not!

Make time to rejoice in what you have, what you have had and what you will have.
 

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Ceri Wheeldon

Ceri is Founder and Editor of Fabafterfifty.co.uk She is a frequent speaker at events and in the media on topics related to women over 50 , including style and living agelessly. With 20+ years experience as a headhunter Ceri also now helps support those looking to extend their working lives.

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