Article by Jackie Walker
By and large those days have to a greater extent gone and women have armed themselves with knowledge, expertise and earning power. Women have retained the upper hand in the realms of looking after others and putting themselves last on the list of things to be looked after. As a gender, we’re very good at making do, of accepting and not being assertive in stating our case.
During divorce women find it challenging to assert themselves
During separation/divorce, women can find it challenging to assert themselves confidently and without aggression. Because we are very much more in tune with our emotions and how we feel, much of what we say can sound apologetic or as though we are asking for permission.
Mediation is perfect solution to avoid court and expensive legal fees
Mediation is hugely beneficial to those who find it challenging to be heard, or who want to encourage their partner’s voice to be heard. During mediation you have an individual session with a mediator to discuss your perspective of the issue, your partner will have one too, and then there will be one or more joint sessions.
Mediation is the perfect solution to avoid court and expensive legal fees. It’s all about communication and the ability to express yourself in order that you come to a joint outcome. The usual reasons people might consider mediation are to come to an arrangement about the children or finances. At Ugli we identified that there were many reasons traditional mediation is not as popular as it might be and we’re plugging the gaps. The main issues have been:
Meeting your partner
At this stage of separation/divorce, many individuals don’t want to sit in the same room as their partner as it brings up too much emotion and they find that the strength and courage they have been building can crumble in that person’s presence. This is particularly true if there has been any form of bullying in the relationship – either physical or psychological.
We work with our clients by telephone and joint sessions are 3 way calls.
Delaying the Process
Unless there is no willingness to reach a joint agreement and avoid confrontation, mediation is actually quicker (and usually cheaper) than having two parties’ solicitors exchange a series of correspondence. If there is no willingness, there is little point in attending mediation.
Many people are very busy and find it a challenge to fit in extra appointments to their busy lives.
Working by telephone means that you have no extra travel time involved, and many mediators also provide evening appointments.
The true power of a good mediator is in their ability to get to the heart of the matter by asking the right questions, listening to clients’ needs, wants and fears and being able to create a safe environment for open and honest communication to enable clients to reach their agreement.
‘Maybe I’m wrong …’ or ‘I’m sorry to say this … ‘