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Susan, starting over at 50+ following bereavement

susan, pilates instructor

 Article by Fabafterfifty
Starting over at 50+ was it a mid – life crisis? No. It was a necessity, says Susan, something I had to do because of life circumstances.

I had to start over

The year is 2005 and I lost everything that gave me comfort and my sense of security. The man I had been living with for eight years had succumbed to lung cancer after a two year battle. My twenty year business as a Textile Rep in the New York Garment Center met its death to imports.

 I had to start over.  I felt lost, alone and very frightened. Everyone tried to remind me how strong I was. Encouragement such as- Didn’t you just care for a dying man on your own without the help or support of his family?
Didn’t you start your own business in your 30’s in the midst of your divorce? Although these statements were true, I didn’t feel very strong. In fact I felt weak and beaten.

Will I find love again at my age?  Or will I be destined to live the rest of my life on my own with my two cats Sassy and Mystique?  How will I support myself? There was no longer a Garment Center that would support me. What will I be when I grow up? Didn’t I already do that? Why do I have to do that again? Shouldn’t I be settled and secure at my age? The questions and feelings of insecurity over whelmed me.

Time passes but healing is another story

Time heals all. Sound familiar? Well, that’s what I tried to do. Let time pass and heal. Funny thing about time is passes whether you want it to or not. Healing was another story. My boyfriends will was being contested. Remember we were living together not married. There were those who saw my home as dollar signs not my home, my safe haven. I had to fight for what was rightfully left to me and mine. There was one deposition after another to attend. Memories of good times and bad times were being spoken about around lawyer’s conference tables. Our personal property and cards from birthdays and occasions past were made public property. Yes, it was a fight and I was going to fight! Did I just say fight? Wait a minute I thought that just reminded me of something.

Well, that more than distasteful fight reminded me that I was a fighter not a quitter. I will swim I will not sink. Yes, it was me my friends were talking about when they said I cared for a dying man and yes, it was me who started my own business in my 30’s. I can do it! But do what? That became my quest.

I know, I’ll sell Solar Panels for hot water heating. Now that’s an idea, I’m good at sales and I believe in saving our environment our planet. Well, was a good idea if our country was ready and I was 21 and had the time. But I had to eat. Eat now that’s an idea. I love to cook in fact it’s my passion. What about giving cooking lessons in the privacy of one’s home? Good idea, huh?  Well, only I thought so.

At 57 I became a certified Pilates trainer

susan pilates instructorTime was still passing and I was still fighting my battles. One day I ran into a friend in my buildings gym. She asked that question I so hated to hear. “What are you doing”? Well you know the answer to that. I said what I always said “I’m trying to figure out what I will be when I grow up”?  But wait, she actually had an answer. Why not become a Personal Trainer?
At 56 I signed up to get my certification as a Pilates Instructor. At 57 I was certified. Yes, I’m 57 and a Pilates Instructor. I am working day and night to get my business off the ground, teaching Pilates to those 50+ in the comfort of their home. I believe that Pilates is a safe and effective means of exercise as we age.  Exercise is the only proven Fountain of Youth. One of my many motivational mottos “Don’t let your age stop you; instead let it be the reason”. I did it, so can you!
By the way the court battle continues, I think it’s almost over. As for my love life in case you’re wondering, I also found love at 50+!

You can find out more about Susan and her pilates instruction at www.pilatesbodynyc.com



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