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Internet dating over 50 the Dos and Donts


internet dating in your fifties

 Louise Northwood

Internet dating can be daunting at any age, but perhaps even more so over fifty if you are returning to dating or uncomfortable with the internet approach.

Finding your partner online used to smack of desperation or worse sleaze, with more and more internet sites popping up daily internet dating is big business and an accepted part of today’s society. For every ten horror stories we hear there is one beautiful tale of romance flourishing from their fingertips. I know three brilliant couples in their fifties who have met and married after meeting on dating sites and clicking.

Internet dating can be fun

Internet dating is amazing fun, there are literally millions of users online at any time and you have the chance to talk to someone from virtually anywhere in the world. Internet dating is quick, easy, affordable and exciting. You don’t need to leave the house to get that frission of knowing someone thinks you are attractive, you can practise flirting, enjoy the thrill of the chase and meet people who could be a friend, lover or more.

couple dating in their 50sAs with everything online there are dangers and safety measures you can take to help keep you safe and make the experience enjoyable. One of the first things I would recommend is that you choose your site wisely, many of the sites that you see are not independent dating sites as I own an online dating site I cannot give you an unbiased view but you should be aware that if you join a company for example called “daters with names beginning with A” the promotional blurb may claim you have access to 200,000 matches in your area, this is achieved at times by franchises being able to see and interact with each other’s members you might be on the aforementioned site and be talking online to someone from “daters whose names begin with the letter Z” I have obviously picked sites that do not exist but if you are choosing a site by their adverts only you may join a site thinking it’s for people who only love the countryside only to get chatting to someone who hates fresh air. Finding your profile appearing on a site you don’t want to be associated with can be an unpleasant surprise.

After you have chosen your site and you are putting up your details I would recommend you keep as much personal information private as possible. Never put your home phone number on a profile and never give out your home address, if you live in a village give the location as the nearest town. If someone is interested in you they will see this as sensible not subterfuge.
On the issue of white lies recognise that most people lie a little on their profiles, if a photo from 2 years ago is the most flattering that will be used, if the person is over fifty chances are they will skim off at least 3 years. I imagine you will do the same. It is lying and it is wrong but the internet dating sites have little or no checking as regards age, location, occupation.

Remember not everyone is as honest as you are, not everyone who is on the internet is single. There are no sure fire ways to find out if the person you are emailing is single but concerns would arise if there is not a clear photo or if they severely restrict the times you can contact them.

Don’t be upset if you dont get a reply

Do not be disheartened if you ‘wink’ (see glossary of internet dating terms) or send someone a message and they don’t reply. At times people find partners and forget to cancel their Payment; you may occasionally find members profiles that are not active. It is your responsibility to stop the payment with your bank or building society.
If the person is an active member again do not be upset, I will guarantee you won’t fancy every person who contacts you so why should everyone you like want to make contact with you.

picnic date in your 50sIf someone makes inappropriate comments do not be afraid to report them, it is always the minority that spoils things for the majority, some men and women are unsavoury and only on the internet for sex. All dating sites have administrators who are qualified to deal with any concerns you have.

If you find and connect with someone virtually eventually you will want to meet them in person. there are a few safety measures I would implement.

Tell someone you trust where, when and who you are meeting.
Only meet in a public place.
Have sufficient funds to pay for the meal or activity should you wish to leave early
Take your mobile with you and meet somewhere you know you have a signal
Don’t go somewhere everyone knows you, you might as well give him/her your address.
             
 Have fun but stay safe, you really don’t know this person even if you have spent hours talking on the phone and computer, make sure you don’t get drunk and make sure you get home as safely as you arrived, alone.

Don’t rush from first date to bedmate if you have a connection it won’t fizzle out if you take a bit longer to get to know the person. Treat Internet dating like a car journey speed or drink drive and you will get there faster but maybe have an accident, take your time and arrive safe whilst enjoying the experience and the sights enroute.


Louise Northwood

Louise Northwood is founder of Louise Northwood.com.

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