When you reach 50 you think you know about most things, yet more and more women are finding themselves alone in the big wide world for the first time in their lives. Divorce and the death of partners means many women in midlife need to re-educate themselves in order to survive.
Most attacks on women either happen in their homes or within walking distance of the front door. Living alone for the first time can be frightening.
Fortunately information on how to be safe both within the home and on the street can be found in abundance, yet what do you ignore and what do you take on board? As a personal development coach and self defense expert here are a few of my favorite tips for keeping yourself safe.
Awareness can often help you avoid getting into scary situations in the first place. Watch for the sinking feeling in your stomach it is a warning sign that something is not right. Ignore it at your peril!
Maybe someone has come and sat too close to you on a bus and invaded your personal space, very scary, particularly if there’s no-one else on the bus! Act immediately – take yourself out of the situation don’t worry about offending peoples feelings, this is about defending yourself. Go and sit by the driver for example.
If you think someone is following you
Perhaps you’re walking home alone late one night and you are sure someone is following you – walk immediately to the other side of the road and head for house lights. If they follow then you will need to be ready to defend yourself.
Practice using your peripheral vision constantly, you can virtually see behind us if you do!
It takes courage to stand up to an attacker something that can be learned. Studies of serial killers find that most kill repeatedly because of the reaction of the victim – NOTHING! When under stress our minds shut down and we give in, just like the rabbit in the headlight scenario.
The first thing you need to do is stand your ground and SHOUT! Practice this so that it is ingrained and will happen without you thinking about it. Flight cabin staff are trained to shout OUT OUT to use in an emergency situation which helps passengers move into action. You are not a rabbit.
You do not have to be fit, youthful and an expert in order to defend yourself. Yet you do need to know a few easy techniques and any good self defense gym will offer courses to give you this knowledge.
Most courses will teach you to kick your attacker in the groin area but I think this is not the best technique to learn because…
1- Your attacker might be female or perhaps a male without tackle!
2- In the dark you will not know what your attacker has at crotch level unless you have infrared and x-ray vision. He may be wearing a metal box!
3- You have to be able to kick hard – usually through a layer of denim and sometimes a winter coat.
4- We have see it so often in the movies everyone is now well aware and it’s usually the first body part to be protected.
5- Kicking out means that your leg can be caught and injured.
Instead hit out at the eye sockets, nostrils, just below the adams apple or in the middle of the chest bone. Don’t try it at home – it really hurts!
In Case of Emergency
If you are attacked and hurt, then you may need to ask the help of the general public. Crowds of people will behave like a crowd and may walk by if you do not ask for help in a specific manner. Look at someone directly in the eye, name them by saying “You in the …. for e.g. blue jacket” then tell them what you need. “Call an ambulance, I’ve been stabbed”. By being specific and to the point 99% of the time you will get immediate help.
This tip is also good for car accidents, heart attacks and stroke victims.
If you want to know more about Kay’s unique brand of Sensibly Selfish Coaching and the courses she run in Mallorca Spain. Please visit: www.KayNewtonCoaching.com