27% of divorcing couples cited ‘falling out of love’ as the main reason for getting a divorce. With more divorces of the over 50s being instigated by the wives than the husbands- what can the over 50s do to keep romance and love alive midlife.
As children leave home, changing the dynamics of home life, becoming an emptynester can place a strain on some marriages.
Dr Gian Gonzaga, Director of Research at relationship site eHarmony.co.uk gives his perspective on the subject and advises on how to make sure you keep hold of that loving feeling:
Tips to keep love alive midlife
Here are Dr Gian Gonzaga’s tips for staying in love midlife;
1.Celebrating your achievements together is vital to a strong and healthy relationship – it creates emotional security, so celebrate together when your partner gets a pay rise or wins a match, and don’t forget to tell them you’re proud of them. Sharing the good things matters more than you think. While it is important to be good at resolving conflict and providing social support (both of those things help reduce threats to the relationship), celebrating your partner’s good news really will make your relationship more satisfying.
2. The couple that achieve their goals together stay together. Not every man and woman will have the same hobbies, so you don’t have to go and join him on the football pitch, but even doing DIY around the house can bring you closer if you work together, put some music on and make it fun.
Creating ‘date’ time
3. Whether it’s a daytime date or an evening to yourselves, “alone time” is very important. All work and no play makes for a pretty boring life. Revert back in years and try sleeping in, staying out late, being a little selfish and going on an adventure to dislodge yourself from your rut.
4. How about being a bit creative and organising a monthly ‘surprise’? Set yourselves a budget of say £30 and come up with a gift for one another – maybe a special present, a meal, or a ticket to a concert, it doesn’t have to be expensive – it’s the thought, and the creativity that counts.
5. And lastly, don’t forget to continue to compliment your loved one often. Compliments shouldn’t be something that die out during the later stages of a relationship; genuine, unique compliments such as how they look or smell good are a great ego-boost. They also increase intimacy and will make your partner feel loved all over again.
One last point to remember- even the Obama’s have a date night!
Photo credit: Salvatore Vuono