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Age with Attitude: I Am Good Enough! Attitude 5


Article by Lindsey Agness

For many midlife women, believing in themselves can be their biggest challenge. Our beliefs act as an on/off switch in our brains. If we believe something is possible for us, we will act on it and get the result we want. If we don’t, then we won’t. The most important thing to understand about beliefs is that they are generalisations that we create from life experiences. Most of us do not consciously decide what we believe. Furthermore, once we have a belief we forget that it can be changed, and it becomes our reality. Now that’s scary. We rarely challenge our long-held beliefs and they become a filter through which we sieve all of our life’s expectations and experiences. So, if I don’t believe I’m good enough, then I filter all my experiences through that belief until I only notice the times this is true – for example: ‘I’m not good enough’. I don’t notice all the times I was successful, or even more than good enough. Does this resonate with you at all?

We can begin to change any limiting beliefs we have about ourselves by building our personal self-esteem. People with higher levels of self-esteem feel more comfortable in their own skin. They are relaxed about showing others their true self. Think about it for a moment. If you value and respect yourself you will naturally believe there is a lot for others to like within you. According to psychologists, our self-esteem reflects our overall evaluation or appraisal of our own self-worth. So it figures that if our self-esteem improves our beliefs will also change.

Exercise 5: Growing your self-esteem

Self-esteem flourishes when it receives regular nourishment. This exercise will teach you how to feed your self-esteem to ensure that it continues to grow. It is important that you select only positive qualities as you go through the steps.

Step 1: Remember a time when you were a child that you felt really good about yourself. What three qualities did you most admire about yourself back then?
1. …
2. …
3. …

Step 2: What three qualities do you most admire about yourself now?
1. …
2. …
3. …

Step 3: Imagine a time in the future when you have achieved everything that you ever wanted to achieve. What three things do you most admire about yourself at that point in time?
1. …
2. …
3. …

Step 4: Think about a person who loves you. What three qualities do they admire most about you?
1. …
2. …
3. …

Step 5: Think about a colleague at work who respects you. What three qualities do you think they admire most about you?
1. …
2. …
3. …

Step 6: Take all the 15 words that comprise your answers, write them on a large piece of paper, and hang them somewhere where you can see them every day.

Final Step: Anchoring the great feeling As you look at each of the 15 words, notice how differently you are feeling. Notice where you are feeling each feeling. Spread the feeling throughout the rest of your body so it flows outwards and upwards. Do this each time you look at your list of 15 words. Notice how good it feels. Each day, as you practise spreading the feeling throughout your body, create a powerful anchor for yourself by pressing together your thumb and forefinger for around 5 to 15 seconds, as you experience the feelings at their strongest. As the feeling ebbs away, release your finger and thumb.

Do this every day when you look at your words. You will start to notice that by pressing your thumb and finger together you can access those amazing feelings about yourself. You can use this in any situation where you’d like to be in a more positive state of mind, such as before a presentation or an awkward conversation.

Enjoy opening yourself up to infinite new possibilities and stretching yourself beyond what you thought was possible.

Photo credit:BJWok

Lindsey-Agness

Lindsey Agness: Best Selling Author of Change Your Life with NLP and Still 25 Inside

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