I normally avoid sharing anything too personal here, but I have found myself very upset and at a loss as to what to do.
For years every time a particular friend has let me down, I have always given her the benefit of the doubt.
There have been countless occasions when I have been let down at the final hour ‘Oh, I wasn’t sure it was a firm arrangement and I know you wouldn’t want me to miss out on the chance to catch up with so and so, go to the theatre, have a last minute treatment at xyz, etc….’. I remember travelling into London for lunch to be told – oh I thought it was only a quick coffee – I’ve made other arrangements for lunch’.
My husband has repeatedly said- walk away. But I have always felt I should not throw away a long term friendship.
When she ran into major problems with a house purchase a few years ago she practically lived with us for 2 years while everything was sorted. We ran her everywhere, made calls, visited lawyers , translated documents ( her house purchase was in France and my husband is French, hence able to assist).
I have lost count of the number of occasions her excuse for letting me down has been a lost phone or mix up in dates.
Recently I have discovered that most of what she has told me about her life is untrue – from how many times she has been married, the circumstances surronding her divorce (where I was very supportive) and even how many children she has. I feel a fool, as I have met many members of her family (who have visited our home) who must have been ‘briefed’ beforehand as to what they could and could not reveal on social occasions. She goes to enormous lengths to hide her real age – and the ages of her children. She is now several years younger than me, although she was definitely older when we first met!
To the rest of the world she is sociable and good company.
The latest incident has involved her ‘forgetting’ a whole set of arrangements (which involved booking of flights) AND losing her phone so unable to call.
I am upset and hurt. She is saying it is all yet another occasion where she ‘forgot’.
There are a lot of other elements which I will not divulge here – mainly to protect her should she read this post.
Should I just walk away? although this would have implications for mutual friends if I were to stop all contact.
What would you do?