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How to Get Over the Death of a Loved one


grieving woman imageArticle by Fabaferfifty

Death is, unfortunately, an inevitable part of life. The death of a loved one can be utterly devastating, emotionally, and leave a person feeling grief-stricken for a long time to come; depending on your level of emotional connection with the person who has passed on, overcoming the death of a loved one can take weeks, months – or even years.

Grieving is a process that we must all go through after the death of a loved one, and it’s a process which is unique to every person. There are, however, a number of common steps which may help during this difficult time.

The formalities

While the death of a loved one can set off a tide of sadness and emotion in a person, the formalities associated with arranging a funeral, as well as ensuring that the departed’s last wishes are carried out, as laid out in the Grant of Probate can be a surprisingly reassuring part of dealing with the grieving process.

Assuming that your loved one’s wishes have been dictated in a will put together by a reputable legal firm, such as Co-operative Legal Services, the formalities that come after the passing of a loved one are an opportunity to pay your last respects and come to terms with their passing in a practical way.

Confront your emotions

Once the shock of your loved one’s passing has subsided and the formalities have been taken care of, it’s imperative that you confront your emotions.

There is no right or wrong way to confront your emotions and the grieving process is utterly unique for every person. One common means of confronting your emotions, however, is to write down all of your thoughts and feelings in a journal – or perhaps in letter form, written as if to your dear departed.

It’s easy to close yourself off from the world during the difficult time following a loved one’s death, but simply scribbling your emotions down on paper is a very private way of ensuring you resist that temptation.

While contemplating – and subsequently reading back – your feelings may seem painful at first, it’s the most important part of the grieving process; until we confront our emotions, we can never truly move on.

Seek support

Once you’ve decided that it’s time to open up, finding the right person (or people) to talk to is an integral facet of the grieving process.

Whether it’s a friend or close family member who also knew the departed or maybe the anonymity and comfort offered by a support group made up of people who have had similar experiences, talking openly about your feelings is an excellent means of coming to terms with your loss.

Talking to a sympathetic stranger, whether they’re a fellow member of a support group or a counsellor, is often very effective. Their probing questions may help you to consider things in an altogether different light.

Stay healthy

The grieving process can last for an unspecified amount of time, which is why it’s important to ensure that you remain healthy during this period. Grief, derived from the loss of a loved one, opens us up to depressive thoughts, which are exacerbated if we are run down. It’s important to make sure that we maintain a healthy diet and exercise regime, so that we remain energised, and better able to deal with our grief effectively.

It takes time

One of the most painful aspects of grief and getting over the death of a loved one is that there is no pre-determined, or normal, timeframe: every case of grief is unique unto itself and you should never feel obligated to get over the tragedy within a set period.

Take your time, confront your emotions at your own pace and, most importantly, stay close to your loved ones, who will provide a great support system during your time of need.

Ceri Wheeldon

Ceri is Founder and Editor of Fabafterfifty.co.uk She is a frequent speaker at events and in the media on topics related to women over 50 , including style and living agelessly. With 20+ years experience as a headhunter Ceri also now helps support those looking to extend their working lives.

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