Jane shares her experience of the joys of weddings!
I don’t know if it is the champagne that helps many a man to propose but I do know from my experience that they wake up in the morning a full blown fiancé albeit with a raging hangover.
The girl in question is already on the telephone to her Mother so there is no going back. You are engaged and your bachelor life style has just flown out of the window.
Most girls, well almost every girl wants to get married in the summer under the blue skies although there are quite a few who want a winter wedding, complete with lovely snow scenes.
Either way your fiancé and her mother are already discussing dates and wildly looking for a church that isn’t already booked. Once that is done and dusted it is onto the other most important ingredient for the perfect wedding. The dress.
Wedding dresses are extremely expensive, but after all it is the bride’s special day. There is always a clash between the bride to be and her mother over which style the dress should be, what fabric, how long the veil etc.
I know this from experience. A friend owned a bridal shop and wanted me to run the place while she sneaked off and got married on a beach with white sand and a turquoise sea.
Looking after the shop was a baptism by fire, and I was in the shooting line. With no-one to show me the way. I floundered a bit at the beginning but with the help from the seamstresses I soon got into the swing of it. I don’t know whether it was a girl or her mother who caused the most fuss. The poor girl would sit getting more and more irritated as her mother was agonising over her own outfit. Dress or suit?
Fairly shortly after I had taken the job I was out for lunch when I got a call from the head seamstress who pleaded me to drop everything and rush back to the shop. Listening to the tone of her voice I dropped everything and returned to find the bride’s mother in hysterics because her suit had been made in the wrong coloured cloth.
I rang the fabric suppliers and got them to courier a sample over so that it could approved and work could begin again quickly. The poor bride to be just sat there patiently waiting for someone to help with her dress.
The shop had a range of dresses in different designs so they could be tried on to see which one suited the girl. This took ages and the rows began. I saw many girls reduced to tears by their mother’s opinions and always tried discreetly to solve the problem.
Some girls wanted to combine a bit of one of one dress and bit of another. That really wasn’t a problem. The colour of the dresses ranged from white to red – honestly!
The wedding guest list
The next fracas is the guest list. Friends of the couple have to be invited and of course the friends of the parents. This leads to endless rows. Some relatives must be left out of equation, this is necessary because rather than pare down the guests they seem to grow at an alarming rate. Finally this job is finished so it is on to the invitations. Another lively discussion about size and colour.
The flowers in the church must be the same as the bride’s bouquet and matching the ones on the tables for the reception. Another area for heated debates.
It is the same with the catering – what to give all the guests? Some of them are vegan, some vegetarians and there are those with allergies to all sorts of food.
On the day all the guests trooped into the church leaving the front pews empty for the many relations of bride and groom. No-one saw the horse driven carriage carrying the bride and father stop outside the church. Luckily the official photographer was there to record their arrival.
The future mother-in-law wore an enormous hat that blotted out the view of the couple and the vicar No one dared to ask her to move a bit to the left so they could see the service.
Of course most of the guests only saw the front of the frock briefly as the bride walked down the aisle and then spent the service looking at the back view. That meant a discreet zip or dozens of tiny buttons. Not forgetting the length of the train or tiara.
After the ceremony everyone goes to the room or marquee where they are to be found to be studying the table plan which was just another one of the bones of contention with the two sets of parents.
The best man has to give a speech and is warned not to drink too much champagne or tell smutty jokes about the grooms past life. He is not to mentions ex girlfriends let alone the details of the stag night!
After the meals some couples start dancing and are joined by the best man and bridesmaids and other guests most of whom have obviously imbibed too much champagne.
The wedding photos
Meanwhile the poor bride and groom are joined by close relatives and have to troop outside to have their pictures taken by the photographer who takes ages finding the right angle.
The bride then rushes away to change into her going away outfit. This is a bit of a mistake as she has left the groom’s friends to decorate the car that is to take the happy couple away. Shaving cream is essential as are the tins cans tied to the back bumper. The confetti is thrown with gay abandon as the bride and groom drive away.
So it is back to the bar where the fun truly starts and the bride and grooms families sink back into their chairs exhausted. Job done, all in agreement that the wedding was perfect despite all the work took to make it a memorable day.
Personally I would have Wedding planners – they don’t come cheap but they do lessen the strain and stress for everyone involved.