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Who wants less stress and more deliciousness in life?


women get better with age imageArticle by Sharon Eden

Many 50+ women say they do, but we don’t really!  That’s because of 2 major fears…

  • Who will I be without my stress?
  • What will I do without my stress?

Overcoming them is what leads to a more delicious life.

Life stressors

By the time you’re 50+ you’ve spent a lifetime full of stress.  Being who your parents, your teachers and your peers wanted you to be… or not.  More stress with exams, being the same as your peers or feeling an outcast, choices in education, job, career and dating.  The whole stress of being two instead of one which you either managed or didn’t.

Securing a home, children or not, separation and divorce or not, moving, teenage kids and their stresses, coping with illness, operations, bereavements. affairs, taking care of aging parents.

Stress stress stress stress stress stress STRESS!

So…

Who will I be without my stress?

You’ve identified with it.  You’ve come to believe it’s part of who you are rather than a part of what you experience.

You learned that, to be an OK person, you have to work and worry your socks off to be ‘something.’  And then who you are will be loved and accepted as a valuable member of the tribe.  But living someone else’s life doesn’t work!

Who you will be without your stress is a more balanced and peaceful person!  Who you really are, even beyond your personality, is sheer magnificence.  Are you able to be magnificent when you’re so stressed?

What will I do without my stress?

Plenty!  Instead of experiencing life as one problem after another, you’ll begin to experience the flow of life and your natural place in it.

Instead of filling up your time with frustration or worry, you’ll be filling it with what my son, Adam, calls ‘it is what it is, Mum.’  Things are not essentially good or bad.  They just are.  And you’ll be far more powerful dealing and living with life without your stress.

As the Serenity Prayer puts it…

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.

When then?

When do we say we’re going to put change in place, like living a relatively stress free life?  It’s usually in ‘I’ll start tomorrow land.’  Only tomorrow land rarely comes.

As crazy as it sounds, you’re used to banging your head against a brick wall.  It’s painful but you know how to cope with it.  What you don’t know yet is how to cope with the unknown.  In this case, a relatively stress free life.

As an old rabbinical saying advises…

If I care not for myself, who will care for me?

If I care for myself alone, what will I affect?

If not now, when then?

Care for yourself first…

Dump the stress!  Then, being well nourished and resourceful, you can take care of other things, as appropriate, and truly live a more delicious life…

 

Sharon Eden

Sharon Eden, MA, is a psychotherapist who helps people recover from low mood and depression in 6 session or less and find the piece of their personal development which hides in the shadows. Read her blog posts about bouncing back and sign up for her inspirational Bounce Back Prompts at www.bouncebackuk.com

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