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It’s never too late to reinvent yourself…or your marriage


Article by Andro Donovan

midlife reinvention

Most of us at 50+ have kids that have either flown or are about to flee the nest. This is a great time to reinvent yourself and reignite your marriage. Rather than focusing on all the things you will miss about not having the children around any more, begin to celebrate your new- found freedom and bring spontaneity back to your life.

It’s a simple choice, do you buy the general agreement out there that now you have turned 50 you should begin to:

  • Plan your retirement
  • Take it easy
  • Start wearing sensible shoes
  • Join the WI
  • Look forward to senior citizen status in cinemas and local transport

 

OR

 

  • Write and publish that book which you have procrastinated about for years
  • Do things that have always been outside your comfort zone
  • Invest in beautiful and well-made clothes [telling yourself if not now when?]
  • Looked for positive 50 something role models such as Liz Hurley,
  • View your passage through Menopause as a liberating transition

 

50 plus is a great time to stand back from your life and review where you have arrived and what would satisfy you moving forward.

Start with the end in mind

Begin to imagine what you want in your life 10 years from now. So say you are 50 what do you want to have in your life when you are 60.

Eyes closed process

mdlife meditation image

Take a few moments to find a quiet spot and begin to envision and dream.

Imagine the best image of your future self, such as

Where will you be living……, what kind of health will you be enjoying, what clothes are you wearing? What are you expressing? Who are you sharing your life with, what environment are you in and what hobbies or leisure activities are you enjoying?

What do you really want?

Ask yourself what do you really, really want? People with purpose are more driven, excited and energized about their life. There’s no easy check list for connecting to your sense of purpose, but what does help is giving yourself the physical and mental space to be still and just listen to your higher self, whether you call that your heart, your gut, your heart and soul or your spirit. Creating regular rituals where you decompress and tune into your inner wisdom will result in you eventually feeling that you can tap into your highest self’s voice whenever you need to. Many people who meditate get answers to very big questions in this space.

Putting some stakes in the ground that inspire you about your life will pay dividends. If you see yourself having a happy, fulfilling healthy life you will be more motivated to plant the seeds now that you will able to reap the rewards later.

Design the life you want in your future not only for yourself but with your loved one.

The rocks of a good marriage are joint projects which bring people together. If you think about it, people in the early stages of a relationship have loads of exciting joint projects, from planning a wedding to buying that first home. But, as time goes on, these joint projects get less and less until couples often find themselves leading separate lives. Life Planning changes that, bring couples back together and having fun in shared projects.

Take Trudi and Sting who share projects like their rainforest projects, Tuscan vineyard and wine range, on top of their shared family life.

Life Planning takes you through the process of beginning to life plan and dovetail projects with your loved one. It isn’t just about setting goals. It is a paradigm shift that shines light on your deepest values. It allows you to throw away the dead wood, avoid distractions and live your desired, exciting life from right now, not in ten years’ time.

Create Rituals

Some of the most purposeful people I know all seem to have clear disciplines and rituals. If they are fit, they tend to have a regular gym routine, run or some other regular physical activity. If they have a vibrant social lie, they have made the time to invest in relationships and social activities.

Anything you have achieved in life has come about through a regular commitment. The trick is now deciding, at this stage in your life, to what you want to commit.

 

Andro DonovanAndro Donovan is the author of Motivate Yourself: Get the Life You want, Find Purpose and Achieve fulfillment, which is published by Capstone. Delivering workshops, learning and development to CEOs worldwide, Andro helps people hone in on what they really want and take steps to get there. You can find out more about Andro and her book at: www.androdonovan.com

 

 

 

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