Article by Ar’nie Krogh
After the initial ‘Honeymoon’ period and excitement of building a home together, things will have inevitably gotten hectic with the arrival of kids. There’s school runs, PTA meetings and football matches in the early years. Then comes the more serious, problematic teenage years, which are bound to keep your household exciting. You may or may not have had too many cross words between your kids and your partner, but before you know it, these little birds have left home, and you’re left with the ‘empty nest syndrome’.
Silver divorces are on the rise
It’s a sad fact that today, silver divorces are on the rise. These are couples who are divorcing in their 50’s and above and are the same people who were the pioneers of a 2 working parent household, both earning an income whilst juggling kids and housework. A lot of these couples cited growing apart while growing older, as a big reason for divorce.
Growing apart in a relationship can be down to a lack of communication on many levels. So let me share with you some tips to counter this trend.
6 tips to rekindle your relationship when you become an emptynester
- Learn the art of massage
Think about the amazing benefits of this therapeutic art! Not only will you become intimately re-acquainted with your partner’s body after so many years, but when the niggles of pain and aches come along inevitably, you will be able to help each other out. Speak to each other’s body and find out how you have changed over the years and you will find you can still remain ‘sexy’ to each other.
- Arrange a new vacation spot every year
Have you been going to the same “safe” seaside spot every year because you know it’s safe and familiar? Now is the time to throw caution to the wind, and without the added burden of childcare, spend a little bit more or save up for that paradise beach trip, or maybe that dream cruise that takes you to a few cultural Mediterranean seaside towns. The location doesn’t even have to be ‘exotic’, it could be a local city nearby! All that matters is that you both chose a location you’ve never been to and have researched together as partners.
- Join a cooking/supper club
Maybe it used to be the children who insisted on having fish and chips, or maybe that was the easiest thing to serve in the once busy household? Why not experiment with new foods and try out new recipes together? They say food can be very sexy, and some are even aphrodisiacs! You might just be surprised how helpful your man can be with that chopping knife or your lady with her presentation skills of that fancy French dish.
- Do Something Creative Together
Many adults lose their creative skills once the children and job take over their lives. After a long day of slog, it is easy to just sit in silence and grab the remote and start channel surfing. Now is the time to get back to flowing our creative juices again. Grab some watercolours and a pad or why not go to some open mic nights to see if performing is something you could do together? If you own a nice mobile phone but only using it for phone calls, why not play around with the camera and become an ‘iPhonographer’? You might just surprise yourself with the great photos you can take with the ‘humble’ mobile phone if you take the time to compose the shots. And of course capturing the beauty of your partner. Indulging in a creative activity has been shown to slow down the effects of ‘old age’ illness like dementia, so think of it as preventive therapy.
- Watch a Comedy Show
Science has proven that laughter is indeed one of life’s best medicines. Laughing can lower our blood pressure yet put colours to our cheeks. Laughing makes us feel younger and healthier. Laughing together with a partner can heighten sexual tension as endorphins are released.
- Stop treating each other like mum and dad or house mates, but back to being lovers again
So many couples make this mistake and yet it is one of the most common. Our kids become the centre of our family life, and in many ways, that is fine. It becomes unfortunate when they have been the only focus of your time together as a family. We need to remind ourselves that before we became parents, we were first lovers. Go on date nights again where the topics and conversations are fun and lighthearted. You’ll be surprised how passionate evenings can become again even before the lights are off.
“The Architect of Love’ – Your Perfect Relationship Starts Here”, by Ar’nie Krogh is available via amazon
Further more information visit www.arnierozahkrogh.com”