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The Secret to Getting Back Out There After a Divorce

srehhi Graf and Andre Agassi image


Without a doubt, getting back out there is one of the toughest things to do after a divorce. You probably lost touch with many of the buddies you had before you got married, and the friends you have made since now feel awkward and torn between the two of you.

When you spend time with people who were mutual friends, there will always be that elephant in the room. You know how it goes; they sensitively try to avoid any subject, story or memory that involves the two of you, and in the end the conversation just peters out, because they only really know you as part of a couple.

Starting afresh and finding a new social circle is never easy, especially if you got emotionally burned in the divorce. Overcoming issues of trust, self-worth and confidence can be hard, but trust me it is well worth the effort. Finding new friends is the first step in rebuilding your life. It’s just you now, and unless you want it to stay that way, there are far more plus points of getting back out there than not.

But where do you start?

How do you find new friends who share your interests, without resorting to dating sites where people are often looking for much more than some company and friendship, or even worse, the kind of sites where people are looking for much less when it comes to ongoing relationships.

Here’s the answer you weren’t expecting:

Sports are a great way to meet new people who share your interests. Every town has a variety of sports clubs to choose from, as well as supporters clubs for fans of the local NBA, NFL and MLB clubs. Sharing a sport can sometimes lead to sharing much more, as many sporting couples have proved. Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf met on the tennis courts, while Shelden Williams and Candace Parker met on courts of the basketball variety.

You don’t have to play a sport to make a connection

You don’t even have to play the sport to find a connection. New York Nicks General Manager, Phil Jackson, and LA Lakers President, Jeannie Buss, formed one of the most famous power couples in sport. Sometimes just a love of sport itself is enough, with  Baseball’s Matt Treanor and Olympic gold medalist beach volleyball player, Misty May-Treanor, both making a match in mismatched sports. You’ll even find match ups in more cerebral sports, with card playing couples sharing their success at the tables.

Of course, you don’t have to be an international sporting superstar to find new friends or a new partner through sports and games. Just joining a club at your local gym or sports hall will bring you a whole new social circle. Many so-called sports clubs are little more than an excuse to get together and socialise anyway, with many players enjoying the companionship of the clubhouse as much as the on-court competition.

Either way, whether you throw yourself into your favorite sport, or just go along for the fun of it, you are sure to meet like-minded people who share your interests. Even if you don’t meet someone special, getting active is not only good for your physical health, there are also huge mental and emotional benefits.

So let’s go find the real ‘we’. Pick your passion, select your sport, and seek out the people who love it every bit as much as you do. Game on!

Image source: Wikimedia


Ceri Wheeldon

Ceri is Founder and Editor of Fabafterfifty.co.uk She is a frequent speaker at events and in the media on topics related to women over 50 , including style and living agelessly. With 20+ years experience as a headhunter Ceri also now helps support those looking to extend their working lives.

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