Article by Angela Dyson
- Don’t google him. That’s for later. For when and if you have any doubts.
- Do give him your full attention. Unless there is a sick child/parent/friend in the picture, keep your phone in your bag and not on the table. Listen. Ask questions. And equally important, is he listening to you and asking you questions? Take your time. There’s no need to rush. This is not a job interview. For either of you.
- Don’t overshare. Don’t start the date by presenting your relationship C.V. and don’t ask for his. Start light and fun. This is just the aperitif, not the main course.
- Do give the guy a chance. Open your mind and leave your list at home. This is not on-line shopping (although it can feel like that). Where’s the excitement? Where’s the butterflies if another date is only a swipe away? So what if you don’t like his sweater, his shoes or his duffle coat? Don’t automatically write him off as not your type. And-on that subject-isn’t having a type rather limiting? Chemistry isn’t always instant.
- Don’t be what you’re not. You get to an age when it’s simply too tiring to be anything other than yourself. And yourself is more than good enough. Start as you mean to go on.
- Do watch how he interacts with the waiter and with other people. Is he courteous? If not, this is a massive red flag. He may be treating you beautifully for now, but down the line that will change if he fails to treat others in a manner you expect. At the end of the date say a polite goodbye and move on.
- Don’t doubt yourself. You’re alive (and how many of our friends over 50 are not?) and you are ripe for adventure. Remember just how lucky you are, as you prepare to take a leap in to this new and exciting stage of your life. Look out world because here you come!
- Do give your instincts free reign. Allow them in. Trust them. Use your judgement. Is he coming on way too strong way too soon? He’s staring into your eyes and using romantic clichés that make you feel warm and ready to… but stop. Think a moment… what’s he after? If it’s you in your undies in a hotel room-and you’re up for that-then great. But if not. Antenna…UP. You didn’t make it through all these years and jump through all those hoops to be conned at this stage of your life out of your savings, your home and your dignity.
- Don’t try too hard. Relax in to it and enjoy the evening. For itself. Because you’re not slumped in front of the TV again wondering how your life got so small, you’re out and you’re looking good. There’s a glass of wine in your hand and across the table is a new face. There he sits, a stranger who may become a friend… or maybe… something so much more than that.
And always remember: Be safe. Be sure.
About the Author
Angela Dyson ditched her London life and downsized her home to move to the sticks in Surrey, to follow her dream to become a professional author. She loves to write but to pay the bills (Angela soon discovered that utility companies, bank managers and landlords aren’t known for their generosity and understanding natures,) she had to squeeze the writing in with working for a living. Some of the jobs to which she only gave half her attention have included working for a recording studio and a record label, running a building maintenance company where pretty much the only upside was getting to boss a lot of men about all day, doing a bit of plus size modelling (strictly clothes on) and, for one memorable summer, making a living reading palms on a Greek Island.
“The Love Detective”
By Angela Dyson
“Pacy, funny and exciting. Cynical yet romantic at heart, Clarry is a girl that you can’t help but like – and root for….” – Independent Reviewer
“He’d thought himself the hunter, that I was easy prey but what he hadn’t bargained for, was contending with a woman who hadn’t eaten a square meal in twenty-four hours. I get mean when I’m hungry.”
Clarry Pennhaligan, low on ambition but high on energy, can’t seem to come up with a proper grown-up plan to kick-start her life. Planning really isn’t her thing. But then she happens upon her true vocation: Snooping. Discovering other people’s secrets and getting paid for it. What could possibly go wrong? Well……as it turns out, just about everything and soon Clarry finds herself in real danger. The The Love Detective has a dark undertone with gritty themes that will keep the reader gripped to the edge of their seats until the very last page.
The Love Detective is the first in a series due for release in September 2018. The second book will follow in late spring 2019.