Starting a new relationship in your 50s and beyond can be daunting. The red flags you see in a relationship aren’t always a sign of trouble. You may still be able to have a successful and happy relationship, even if your relationship does have some characteristics that could cause issues for others.

Sometimes, what may be red flags for some don’t apply to others. Plus, you may have a healthy system for overcoming challenges before they become too big for you.

Consider these red flags:

Your family hates your partner. One common red flag in a relationship is that your family disapproves of your partner. However, this doesn’t mean you have to separate or break up.

• • Does your family dislike your partner? Do they criticise them every time they see you? Although your family may not approve, it’s not an indication that your relationship is doomed.
  • It’s important to evaluate your family’s comments and consider the past. Does your family always disapprove of your relationships? Do they always have a negative comment about your dates? If you notice an unhealthy pattern, then you may doubt your family’s concern.
  • If only your family has issues with your partner, it’s possible they may not be ready to see you in a committed relationship. Adult children may be concerned about a potential new partner, particularly if you are recently divorced or bereaved. They may perceive you as being vulnerable – think about how the new partner may be viewed from their perspective – are their concerns justified ? If not , reassure them. They probably care for you more than anyone else.

Your partner is a collector. Does your partner enjoy collecting toys, gadgets, or other items?

1. • A partner who is a collector may be a red flag for some because it can mean an obsession. However, not all collectors are overly obsessed with their items.
   • Before you end a relationship over this red flag, have a serious discussion with your partner. Bring up your concerns and determine how this hobby may affect you in the future.
   • A hobby that involves collecting items can be fun and safe. You should be concerned if it negatively affects your partner’s job, finances, family, or friends. Otherwise, consider helping them with the collection or starting your own. Collecting can be a great way to bond and share interests.

You’re worried about age. Concerns about age are common. In addition, if you and your partner have a great difference in age, then you may be worried about this red flag.

1. • Age differences aren’t an automatic reason to end a relationship. You may be mature and strong enough to handle them.
   • Your family and friends may not approve of your relationship because of age differences. However, it’s important to focus on your partner and not allow outside influences to damage a happy relationship.

Your partner resembles your ex. Does your partner have an uncanny resemblance to your ex? Do they look or act in a similar way? Although this may be a red flag in some instances, it doesn’t mean you’re automatically doomed.

• • If others notice the similarities between your new partner and your ex partner, you’ll have a hard time ignoring them.
  • Couples have built successful relationships and marriages despite resembling previous partners.
  • You may simply be more comfortable in a relationship with a person who is familiar.
  • You may also discover that external appearances and similarities aren’t an indication that your partner is a clone of your ex. Your new partner and ex may have completely different personalities and backgrounds. This may not have an impact on your relationship or future.

Your partner is tight with money. Does your partner have a habit of forgetting their wallet or credit card, leaving you to pick up the bill, despite having been generous in the beginning? If you notice a pattern – don’t be afraid to start a conversation about it. If you are looking at developing a long term relationship, you need to understand their attitude towards money – and their finances. If you have assets of your own you need to ensure you are not being taken advantage of.

Red flags aren’t always an indication that it’s time to end the relationship. You may be able to embrace the quirks and live happily ever after.

Ceri Wheeldon

Ceri is Founder and Editor of Fabafterfifty.co.uk She is a frequent speaker at events and in the media on topics related to women over 50 , including style and living agelessly. With 20+ years experience as a headhunter Ceri also now helps support those looking to extend their working lives.

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