By the Midlife Divorcee
Nobody expects to get divorced in their 50s, irrespective of who made the decision to bring the marriage to a close – with all the emotional and financial upheaval associated with it, but life does move on. Don’t let this life change turn you into a hermit!
Look for groups to join to get out and about
Finding yourself on your own also means reviving your social life. To begin with you might be happy to spend time with family members and other couples, but at some point you will want to branch out on your own. But how?
Meetup Groups have proven to be a valuable lifeline for many people wanting to relaunch their social lives. Not just for singles, meetup groups are informal groups set up by individuals wanting to connect with other likeminded individuals who share similar interests- from walking on weekends, going to the cinema, theatre and concert visits, weekends away. Meetups are not just for singles – quite a mix of people join. I first went along to a group who met every couple of weeks at a restaurant and spoke only French as I wanted to keep up my French skills when I returned to the UK from living in France. Others join when they relocate to a new area, as do emptynesters who suddenly find they have more time on their hands.
It’s a great way to strike up new friendships which you can grow outside of the meetup groups. Through the initial group I joined I have a group of single friends and now regularly go the cinema (mostly on half price ticket nights), meet up to visit National Trust properties on weekends (we took out National Trust memberships for £5 a month) , we meet up for dinner/drinks at each others houses, visit exhibitions in London on weekends ( travelling in with a discount railcard) In fact my own social life is far more hectic single than it ever was when I was married – my ex husband was a bit of a homebody…and he hated me going out on my own…in my case I am making up for lost time!
Check out the meet up website.
If you are nervous about walking into a room full of strangers the first time, ask a friend to go along to your first meeting or event.
Revisit old interests
Is there a sport you were passionate about when you were younger, but life and responsibilities got in the way…now is your chance to revisit. One friend took up rowing following her separation ..she loved it, and also enjoyed participated in an activity where she was part of a team.
If you like to sing, look at local choirs such as Rock Choir – you don’t seem to have to be a great singer to join this one – just have lots of enthusiasm.
If you have your own business- look for local groups that meet up to network. Personally I prefer the informal groups that meet for coffee….look up Business Biscotti or Ladies who Latte groups.
Facebook has local ‘Gossip Girls’ groups where ladies of all ages connect. Type in your own town followed by Gossip Girls in the Facebook Search bar to see if there is a group near you.
Local events – village quizzes- if you are worried about walking in on your own, contact the organiser and offer to help – you will soon meet people!
Life following separation or divorce will present many challenges….but look to thrive… not just survive!
About the Midlife Divorcee:
I’m not a life coach…just a woman who decided to thrive and not just survive her own midlife divorce!