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9 Regrets That Women Over 50 Didn’t See Coming 


Article by Heather Farrell

9 regrets of women over 50 image

 

This is the list you’ll wish you could somehow sneak back to your younger self in your own handwriting with a heading that reads: Stuff to get over first, hotshot…..

 

Regret #1 Not Admitting To Faults & Weaknesses Sooner

The fastest way to win the hearts and minds of humans is by allowing them to see your imperfections. Shine a big spotlight, and laugh out loud about your awkward, embarrassing inadequacies and you’ll be met with friendly people who want to help and support you.  

 

The Quick Fix:

The next time you feel the blood draining chill of embarrassment, take a breath and try laughing it off instead. People will relate to your imperfections and will be drawn to the rare authenticity they see in you. 

 

Regret #2 Letting Bad Habits Creep Up

Turns out this runs much deeper than deciding to skip a workout or wait to quit smoking…. Bad habits left unchecked turn into crappy lifestyle choices that become who you are. They build on themselves and slowly take over, egging you further on down that destructive path with many forks in the road.

 

The Quick Fix:

Pick one bad habit you want to turn around and resolve to take just 1-small-step daily for a week and you will see progress. If you would like help with habit transformations, you can get an amazing step-by-step free guide here that lays out the most effective process I’ve ever seen to embed new habits in your life. 

 

Regret #3 Always Doing What Others Want To Keep Everyone Else Happy

It doesn’t seem to matter when we shake this one off, it’s never soon enough, am I right? That dull ache right in the bottom of your stomach that settles in on the exhale and the self-admission that you’re pushing your needs and desires down in an attempt to please others. This may be the greatest self-betrayal we can make because it’s completely voluntary and requires you to willingly and consistently put yourself second to everyone else.

 

The Quick Fix:

The next time you’re about to go with the flow ask yourself if you would rather do something else. If the answer is yes, ask if anyone wants to join you and go your own way at least some of the time. 

 

Regret #4 Not Learning How To Control Your Emotions Sooner

This one is a double whammy because uncontrolled emotions affect and hurt your loved ones as well as yourself. The truth is you get to choose how to react to what’s going on around you and once you start using this mental muscle it becomes second nature.

 

The Quick Fix:

When you feel that knee-jerk emotional reaction coming on, take a breath and consciously choose another response. It really is that easy! Ask yourself if you’ve jumped to a conclusion too quickly, if there are other factors you may not be aware of, or if you could be wrong? 

 

Regret #5 Falling Into The Trap Of Over-Analyzing

Did you know that over-analyzing is a trap? It truly is and that’s because it feeds on procrastination and it turns you into the hamster running inside the wheel making absolutely zero progress.

 

The Quick Fix:

Next time you have a decision to make, gather the facts, do your due diligence and make the decision. Force yourself off the hamster wheel and choose. 

 

Regret #6 Not Being More Disciplined With Yourself

This can stem from defiance, delusion, or both! After all, you’re a grown woman and can make your own decisions right. Bad lifestyle choices aren’t going to affect YOU, are they? At a certain point (and age) it catches up with all of us and nobody is coming to save you, or tell you to go get some exercise, or spend less time with the bad influences in your life. You have to parent yourself. Mel Robbins did an excellent TED Talk on this about a decade ago called “How To Stop Screwing Yourself Over” (it got nearly 25m views) you can check it out here if you missed it (skip ahead to the 10:00 minute mark if you’re in a hurry).

 

The Quick Fix:

You must stop waiting until you feel like exercising, or hoping someone will swoop in with a great plan to take care of everything for you. Move forward in your life knowing that there will be loads of things you need to do for your own wellbeing that you will never feel like doing, and yet they still need to be done! 

 

Regret #7 Not Finding A Fun Hobby That Keeps You Active

If you are someone who thinks that exercise and fun don’t go together you’re missing one of the greatest opportunities of your life if you haven’t done this, and that’s no exaggeration. Good health can not be bought, but it sure can be squandered. If you are not addicted to exercise, your secret formula is to go out of your way to find fun hobbies that keep you moving.  

 

The Quick Fix:

Choose dancing over playing cards, walking in the park over going to a movie, or gardening over Netflix. Or better yet try a virtual challenge! They beautifully combine women anywhere in the world with fun activities and you start forming new healthy habits and building momentum. Plus they’re a great way to feel connected to a community while we are in and out of lockdowns all over the world. You can find a variety of cool challenges here.

 

Regret #8 Seeking External Validation & Approval 

This is a behavior choice that usually stems from a loss of confidence from poor decisions, being bullied by someone important, or just taking yourself too seriously. Recognizing that this destructive habitual loop is a choice can be extremely helpful when rebuilding the mental muscle of confidence.

 

The Super Easy Quick Fix:

Next time you catch yourself on the verge of seeking validation from someone else, turn inward and tell yourself the same thing you would say to your best friend if she was in your shoes. (Then follow your advice!) 

 

Regret #9 Giving Up Goals & Not Having Something To Be Working Towards

At this point, not many of us are likely dreaming of winning Olympic gold, however, the complete absence of goals and aspirations will definitely diminish the human spirit. Our very nature is for improvement and we all intrinsically yearn to make things better, even if only in a small way. In fact, it’s believed that the feeling of emptiness many people suffer from at various times in their lives, stems from knowing in your heart that you’re not working toward something that’s important to you. When studied closer it was found that it didn’t matter how big or small the “actual” important thing (goal) was, only that a sense of continuous progress was being made and felt.  

 

The Quick Fix:

Create a new habit by picking something in this big wonderful world you want to learn or get better at and set a goal to do it. Make it even easier on yourself by grabbing that helpful guide on forming new habits and pick something fun that you’re naturally drawn to. 

 

The choices we make every day with what we focus on and think about, how we react to others and what’s going on around us, and what we choose to do with our time is what creates our reality and our experiences; our life. We have so much more control than most people realize and it all starts with 1) deciding how you want things to be, 2) creating good habits that support your vision, and 3) building momentum 1-small-step at a time. 

 

You can make the changes you want in your life no matter how old you are, how tired you may feel, whether you’re in lockdown, or have already tried something a bunch of times before. You’re a different woman than you were before you read this article and you are more powerful than you dare imagine!

 

Heather Farrell

Independent Thinker

heather Farrell imageHeather is an expat who has lived abroad for nearly 20 years. She is also an entrepreneur and business owner with a special focus on women over 50, being one herself. Today she helps women make meaningful change in their lives in a variety of ways including fun, virtual challenges. You can learn more about habit transformation and challenges here: www.itschallengetime.com

 

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