Relationships | Fab after Fifty | Information and inspiration for women over 50 - Part 5

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Five factors that facilitate a good marriage AND a “good” divorce

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By Peter Jones, founder of Jones Myers family law specialist A good marriage and a “good divorce” might sound like extreme opposites – however both can hinge on critical common factors which can pave the way for a civilised split. Here are five areas that coincide in a good marriage and a “good” divorce. 1 Put your children first The needs and sensitivities of children should be at the heart of a good marriage and the focus of a break up. Avoid arguing or criticising each other in front of them and reassure them that they are loved by both parents. Most importantly, if you are separating, reassure your children over and over again that it is not their fault. 2 Communicate effectively Communicating openly, honestly and frequently are the foundations of a...
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This Miraculous Marriage: How we have stayed together for almost thirty years.

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Article by Juliet Young When I say miraculous I am not talking about meeting a knight in shining armour who swept me off my pretty little feet, then rode us across the Channel on his faithful dappled steed without getting its hooves or our toes wet, turning water to wine every night for dinner, thereafter happily living a life of smiles and hugs and lurve. What I really mean is that it’s something of a miracle that, after almost thirty years together, we are still here, still a Mr and Mrs Same Name, still definitely a couple. A couple of very different, hard-headed personalities who have amazingly stuck it out for the long haul. So far in any case. I’m sure this must be a modern-day miracle because, Holy McZoly, it hasn’t always...
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Midlife relationships: Is your relationship ’til death us do part?

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Article by Maxine Harley If you’re still in love with your childhood sweetheart then long may that continue. Sadly too many of us have not had that blessed experience. There are many types of relationships – and by the time we’ve reached our 50s we’ve probably either heard about, or experienced some of them ourselves. After chatting to a couple of female friends recently it got me thinking about how relationships feature in and shape our later lives. What emotions does the word ‘relationship’ bring up in you? Safety, security, comfort and support? Stress, hostility, fear, pain and sacrifice? Your relationships are about YOU The relationships we attract are a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves. We attract what we give out. What we give out changes as we change. We get what we sub-consciously believe we deserve, and then we get...
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A six-step plan for a ‘New Year, New You’ post-divorce

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By Peter Jones, founder of Jones Myers family law specialists. The New Year is a symbolic time for most people – one of new beginnings, hopes and aspirations for the future. Understandably, the holiday period may have left those recently divorced feeling fragile and exhausted – making it more difficult to plan ahead with any degree of enthusiasm or certainty. If you are in this situation, looking after your physical and mental wellbeing is vital to help you feel re-energised and refocused. There has never been a better time to set in place some simple resolutions to boost your quality of life – and help you to move forward with confidence and purpose. Eat well: A healthy diet provides the nutrients needed for energy, healthy metabolic rate and a robust immune...
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A new life as I move on from divorce in my 50s

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Article by Ceri Wheeldon For most January is the start of a New Year, bur for me personally, January 2017 is the start of a New Life. Some may have noticed that my activity on social media has been sporadic to say the least over the past couple of years. Those who are close to me are aware of the reasons behind my retreat from sharing anything to do with my life . I am thrilled to say that this extremely unsettling period of my life is now over. Making a difficult decision In short I made the decision , in my mid 50s, to divorce my husband. I will not go into too many details other than to say that it was on the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour. Again...
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In-Law Holiday Survival Tips: 4 Tips to Help You Keep Your Sanity

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By Dr. Deanna Brann, Clinical Psychotherapist and author of Reluctantly Related Revisited: Breaking Free of the Mother-in-Law/Daughter-in-Law Conflict The holidays are approaching, and you know what that means—family time! Whether you are hosting your son and daughter-in-law or spending the day in their home, even the best of relationships can be challenged during this stress-laden time. But what happens when your relationship with your daughter-in-law is, how shall I say, prickly or problematic? Have you hoped that this year things will go differently? Are you thinking, Why do we always have to have drama and tension? Can’t we just this once have a sane holiday together as a “normal” family? The key to going from dread to delight is as simple as shifting your perspective slightly, which in turn makes it easier...
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Four key factors to consider as an older divorcee

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By Peter Jones, founder of Jones Myers family law specialist With longer lives and longer health, vigour and mobility, it is unsurprising that separation and divorce rates among seniors are rising too. Long suppressed little irritations and tensions, that might have niggled for many years, but whose impact may have been lessened by the demands of children and busy lives, could achieve greater importance once the nest is empty or people start winding down to a life after work. It might be that one or both partners only stayed in the marriage until the children had flown and, unable to face the often daunting prospect of spending every waking moment together, now want out. People are living fuller lives longer and a husband or wife may simply meet somebody and want to spend...
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How cancer can take its toll on relationships – and how to move forward

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By Vanessa Fox, Having battled with breast cancer and divorce in the same year, I understand from personal experience how the stress and anxiety of a diagnosis can take its toll on the most robust relationship. As more women survive the disease, there is likewise a greater recognition of how it impacts on couples’ lives and partnerships – both during and after treatment. The stress and anxiety of cancer will be a turning point for many marriages – especially those that were already under strain pre-illness and not best positioned to withstand the disruption that its treatment and management will cause. The unwelcome seismic life event and the daily emotions, challenges and decisions it forces couples, especially those with children, to face, will severely test any relationship. It can also...
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Is the UK leaving the EU like a midlife divorce?

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Article by Jan King EU and YOU – The Parting of the Ways For weeks, the media has been likening Britain’s decision last week to leave the EU to a divorce. And leaving the EU is certainly similar to a domestic parting of the ways. First the rancour, accusations and recriminations, then the decision to part even though on balance one half of the partnership wants to stay together, followed by the dismantling of a past way of life and rebuilding a new one. Of course, just as with our economy post Brexit, making sure you have enough to live on and that there’s a roof over your head is vitally important, but one of the most important tasks for people over fifty newly on their own is to...
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6 things to eat before a first date

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First date nerves? Dress or skinny jeans? Heels or trainers? Red lipstick or natural lipgloss? First dates can be nerve wrecking, especially over 50, and we can take a long time to prepare. However, it’s not only our look that can boost our confidence. We asked our Nutritionists to tell us, what are the best foods we should eat before a date to look and feel fabulous. To de stress yourself We all get the first date jitters. “One of the key things to realise is that stress and anxiety can be fuelled by eating the wrong types of food. Stick to snacks that don’t raise your blood sugar too quickly such as nuts including almonds, brazil nuts, hazelnuts and macadamia nuts, as these contain some protein...
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