Article by Penelope Winters
Many women spend time obsessing over which attitude will best serve them in their quest for love in later life; whether they have loved and lost before or are yet to experience the delight that is first love. One question many friends have asked me over the years is if it, and by “it” I mean the relationship they have been waiting for, will happen when they least expect it or if they should approach the task of finding a partner in a mentally pro-active way: meditating, visualising, affirming all with a view to magnetising a wonderful man into their lives. Both recommendations have their merits, some think that a boiling pot never boils and that by concentrating too much energy on attracting a man they may inadvertently jinx their chances of dating success. The answer that I have always given is that it doesn’t really matter. You may chant positive affirmations all day long, or fill your life and mind so full that you have neither the time nor the inclination to consider the prospect of finding a kind and considerate man but what matters more than anything is what you expect.
Certain friends fall effortlessly into love
Have you noticed how certain friends fall effortlessly into love wherever they are physically or emotionally in their lives? And yet, here you find yourself in your fifties or beyond trying to devise the best possible method of manifesting the man of your dreams. Have you ever considered that these so-called “lucky in love” friends may have been conditioned to believe that love is their natural right and that finding love is easy, and can happen just like that. Life has a funny way of giving us what we expect and what we feel we deserve, no more and unfortunately sometimes less. What makes one woman expectant and hopeful and another inclined to view herself as cursed or jinxed in matters of the heart? The answer is simply an attitude, the first woman presumes that love will find her, whereas the second sees finding love as her responsibilty.
Tweak your attitude to love
So, how can a woman who has come to despair of ever finding love generate feelings of expectancy out of thin air? Is it too late to move from fleeting moments of hope throughout the day to utter faith that the Universe, God, or whatever force you believe in, will contrive to bring this man you long for into your life? By realizing that positive expectancy does not come naturally to you in this particular area of your life, you have already made great strides in the direction of your coveted goal. The first task that I assign women in my twenty step programme for finding their perfect man is to read literature where the male protagonists embody all the traits that they are seeking in a partner. I recommend L.M. Montgomery’s Anne of Green Gables where Gilbert adores Anne and perceives in her a beauty that cannot be outdone. If a love story can be conceived in the imagination of a writer, it can equally take up residence in your mind. Feel what it would be like to be adored, enjoy the feeling and consider that by tweaking your attitude so that it is more oriented towards the positive you can and will finally find a guy like Gilbert.
By Penelope Winters.
Author of Finding a Guy Like Gilbert – a Dating Manifesto.