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Tips for dating in your 50s and beyond


Article by Jacqui Baker

50 plus dating tips image

Dating in your 50s, 60s and 70s (possibly 80s) is unique to each individual when they find themselves single again later in life.

I always break down the decades into 50s, 60s, & 70s because you cannot categorise it as ‘over 50s’ becoming single in your 50s compared to becoming single in your 60s or 70s cannot be described as the same.

Some people make the common mistake of jumping straight into dating or finding someone to date and often find themselves feeling sad and bewildered.

Finding yourself single

For instance, finding yourself single after your partner has died and after a separation/divorce of a long-term relationship have similarities.  It is commonly known that divorce is the second highest stressor after the death of a loved one.  There is a need for a grieving period in both cases, and then the healing process must begin.  My advice is to work on emotional and physical wellbeing during this process (detailed jumpstart plan).  I also encourage planning a new outlook and learn from past mistakes.  Any notion of failure must be left behind.

Once feeling confident and ready, I suggest dipping your toe by joining new singles groups and attending a few events.  Also, setting goals every day to get out and about to meet new people, make eye contact, smile and say hello to people you would normally walk past or look away from.

Dating has changed

Dating has changed somewhat since the 70s, 80s or even the 90s.  We met people in bars, discos’, live band venues back then.  We generally did not rely on phones so much to keep us company when we are sat in coffee shops on our own; we would have said hello and started a conversation, now we take out our phones, browse the news or social media,  passing up any prospect of a chance ‘hello’.  All that

Online dating is the most common way to meet someone but not necessarily the best way.  Some mature singles have dabbled in it and didn’t like it, and some liked it and were successful, but others will not even contemplate such a platform to meet a new partner.

Everyone deserves love at any stage in their life, and just because you are older does not rule this out.  I always tell my clients that this is their time to relax, be themselves, and look for someone with shared values and commonalities to continue on the rest of their life journey.

The most important things to consider when starting to date over 50 are;

Emotional wellbeing – make sure you are in a good place

Physical wellbeing – make sure you are feeling good and keeping fit

Don’t stick to the type you had or have in your mind

Open up your possibilities – think outside the box and meet people you would never have considered before

Refer to yourself as single and not divorced.  Divorce does not define you!

Don’t overthink it.  Approach dates as if you are meeting a friend for a cuppa – don’t pressurise yourself into thinking that this could be the one!

Enjoy every minute of your new experience.

There are officially more single men than women in England & Wales, up to 65 years old.  After that  the numbers change to more single women than men due to a longer life expectancy.  Women tend to outlive men.

Men, later in life, also are more reticent to put themselves out there onto dating platforms, attend singles events or let friends pair them with single friends.

There is no ‘magic’ time frame to measure readiness to date, but I recommend that mature singles look at a minimum of 6 months to 1 year.   It is good to know that you are happy within yourself, not anxious or angry about your past relationship and ready to take things in your stride.

New ways of meeting people

New ways of meeting new people include going to singles get-togethers, taking up a hobby/night class, or volunteering.  Not comfortable joining groups or associations by yourself, in that case, you enlist an introduction agency to work with you and personally guide you through your quest for a companion.  Why not try online dating?

Dating more than one person at a time is very trendy with millennials and Gen Z.  I do not encourage this for mature people dating later in life.  I have surveyed this topic within my groups, and 97% of people agreed that dating one person at a time was enough.  More than this felt like ‘two-timing’!

Safe dating practice is essential for any age;  if you are meeting someone from an online platform, then always let someone know you are going on a date and were; always meet in a busy café/restaurant (no alcohol on the first date); due diligence (google their name); don’t accept any lifts home or return for coffee.

My passion for helping women in their 50s, 60s & 70s plus to date comes from becoming single myself in my 50s.  I saw there was very little else other than online dating, which I tried and found unpredictable (putting it mildly).  I decided to set up a singles event company in my spare time to run unique and quirky social events for singles to enjoy and attend on their own without the stigma of dating.  I found that this works even better because not all singles want to date and don’t want to participate in the event that resembles a ‘meat market’.  This works because anyone who has got along notifies me after the event, and I put them in touch.

I also set up an introduction agency for this demographic, which is tailored towards singles who want the personal touch and someone who resonates with how they feel or felt.  In my opinion, I have the best job in the world, but also I have peoples hearts in my hands, which is a massive responsibility.  I take an interest in all my clients, and I will only take on people I know I can work with and help them find a partner to continue on this most fun journey of their life.

About Jacqui:

jacqui baker dating over 50 imageMy name is Jacqui Baker and I am the founder of The Select Group who specialise in dating/matchmaking & high quality events for singles in their 50s, 60s & 70s.  I am also an expert in the helping people within this demographic who have found themselves thrown back into singledom later in life.

I am also a 57 year old single and have been so for a couple of years (the reason why I founded the Select Group – Select Events & Select Connections).  I speak to my clients as one of them and they relate to this and it forms a trust between us.

 

 

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